Goodbye, 2015.

As I sit here in my kitchen, that we've owned for all of 2015 now, I look out at the backyard and see a soccer ball nestled in the grass by the fence. The branches on the trees are bare and our NEW neighbors kept that hideous sun painted on the garage after they moved in. I miss "Jim," the guy who lived there before. I totally don't remember his real name, but that's what we called him. Jim. He used to sit out on his front porch and smoke cigarettes, greeting us nearly ever time we walked outside to get in the car or play in the front yard. It never failed.

He did yard work endlessly. And while Isaac was gone during the day and it was just me and Levi at home, it would comfort me knowing he was out there. Smoking a cig or mowing the lawn.

Not much has changed around these parts. We've made some interior improvements to the house, rearranged some furniture, and hung a few things. But for the most part the smallness of this house keeps us limited in our decor strategy.

Though small, we do love this house and everything it has to offer. It's coziness, it's obligation to force our close proximity, the front and back yards, the weird creaks and noises, and all of our routines.

In 2015, this house has seen a lot:

painful tears
smiles of happiness
goofy-ness
funky dance moves
singing concerts (only when one is aLONE, I might add)
laughs
admiration for one another
confusion about life and career paths
the pondering of God's mysterious plans
clarity
heartbreak
fear and anger
hurt
frustration
irritability
love
grace
shelter
prayer
sickness
health
new and old recipes
cookie-making
friends
family from far away
and much, much more.

Though it has been often been hard for me to admit and remember that God was good in 2015, He is. And He always will be. No matter how much I don't understand Him and His ways, He still remains good. And better than any other thing or god or spirit humanity tries to replace Him with.

To summarize the year, I would need to write all day as I have barely skimmed the surface here.

2015 was hard, in many, many ways. And there was some good, too.

Isaac re-committed to the Army.

I finally got my military I.D. Woo-hoo for trips to the PX and tax free shopping!

We bought a new mattress.

Levi saw his first movie: Despicable Me 3.

He also turned four. I turned 32 and Isaac turned 33. Apparently he's "middle-aged" now. This is what he tells me. And PARTICULARLY because I found a gray hair on his head the other day.

Mom and I went on three skillion shopping trips.

I took on more work, at work.

Isaac took on a trainee.

We bought a FAKE Christmas tree (the horror!).

I lost 13lbs (WOO!)

I realized that "he who does not weep, does not see." (Les Mis)

And that I missed writing.

And I love love love love LOVE One Tree Hill.

I realized that exercise is good. Any form. Even walking. But excessively, it can potentially be a harm, not a help, to your body.

I learned that as desperately as I may desire something, it will not always be granted. Even with a thousand prayers. But that it is ok to ask for the thing, directly. And that I don't have to dance around it.

That I can talk to He who hears, and He who already knows. Just like I'm talking to you.

We went to Miami for our first time ever, and Isaac surprised me with a trip to NYC for 2016.

My heart leapt.

I pray and hope my heart leaps many, many more times in 2016. Not just for a trip to my favorite city or Netflix and Hulu binge-sessions (alTHOUGH....hellllooooooo up and coming Bachelor and American Idol seasons, I have missed you!!). But for all the memory-making I know we'll do all over again.

May each old memory rest in it's past and each new memory made be done with Grace, Love, in Prayer, and in Peace.

Cheers to closing out 2015. Here's to the New Year!