Levi starts Kindergarten, Isaac starts his happy dance, and my heart starts breaking.

Hi guys.

Just doing a quick post about that new milestone Kindergarten that we hit yesterday. I feel like there won't be another major milestone for a while now, though we do have sports leagues and games to look forward to, which gets me excited.

Despite every mother's hesitation to let their baby go, we couldn't be more thrilled for the school we decided on. We've had nothing but pleasant experiences during the enrollment process and the communication about everything has been wonderful. Teachers are very kind and helpful, administration puts my mind at ease, and I already have a weird obsession with the school colors. Fall scarves anyone?

I definitely never imagined we'd actually go through with sending him to a private school. I mean I'd hoped for it, but never thought it was truly in the cards for us to do it until the time to enroll him became a reality. I give a lot of credit to Isaac for putting away a ton of savings behind the scenes to allow for this opportunity. I'm not confident we can do this every year, but I hope God will provide so that we can.

The first day was not as rough as I thought it would be. It was actually quite pleasant, despite my melting heart. Levi couldn't wait to go and meet everyone and start learning even though he was the only one who didn't bring a backpack ... #epicmomfail. I still stand by my point that the teacher said they didn't need one on the first day! Oh well...

We took our morning pictures on the front stoop, combed his hair and brushed his teeth, got his uniform on, and headed out.

Everyone met in the gym for an orientation and the kids were dismissed. The parents stuck around for a few hours to hear some presentations and then the day was done.

I have no idea how to do this chapter of life. This will be all new to us, just like bringing him home from the hospital was. Though oddly, this phase seems like it will be harder. And I am so hard on MYSELF trying to cross all the t's and dot all the i's with making sure all is in place.

What happened on his first day (I didn't tell you my fail of picking him up late from class) was a reminder that I'm just a mom trying to make it and figure this thing out like everyone else. Forget the t's and i's, it's survival mode now!

God is really good to us. And we made it! Thankful for His grace.

Here are a few pics of the day. Gosh I love this kid! And to the title's point, yes, Isaac is doing his happy dance because on his days off now he will have a whole day to himself. The house better be spic n' span then, I'm just sayin'!

Uncle Pepper.

My Uncle Pepper passed away this week. Early Wednesday morning to be exact. He was 70 years old and too young.

It's been an unexpected road for all of us, I think. Watching him one day be diagnosed with a lung disease and then the next few months getting progressively worse. I was so hopeful and thought for sure that he was going to make it, or at least have a good long while before needing any immediate action taken to preserve his physical life. But the sad thing is, it seemed that it was too late. By the time he was diagnosed I understand that his lungs were so bad that he just got weaker and weaker. And when he did not pass for the lung transplant his body just couldn't go on, and he died that next morning.

I'm so thankful that my mom and her sisters were all able to drive and see him that evening. It was all orchestrated so beautifully. And each one made it in time to say goodbye. My heart aches as I write this.

I was not close to Uncle Pepper in my adult years. I saw him every few years at a family function, or when he drove to visit for a birthday here or there and stayed with Aunt Betsy. I'd have to say I was closer to him when I was still living with mom and dad and they made me go on road trips with them to visit random family, including Pepper and Linda (his wife). I'm so glad they did, because I have those memories with me, forever. And it's those memories that help me remember who he was.

Pepper was a man of God, to say the least. He loved Jesus so much. And it was said that while he was in the hospital, he was even witnessing to the nurses and doctors who took care of him. I'll always remember their tiny apartment in NYC that they lived in for so many years. We drove up one year as a family, and I'll never forget being amazed at how small it was, but how it seemed they could just make any spot work that God called them to be. And for some reason, black eyed peas stick out in my mind on that trip. Was it the food that was being served in the basement of their apartment building that night we came to visit? I cannot recall, but it's a memory I have that's always been there. The building, unfinished in nature, was intriguing. And memories of walking with dad through the halls and up the elevator to visit them is vivid.

And then there was New York City Relief. The result of so many selfless souls, including Uncle Pepper, who helped see a dream through. A dream that's motto is "These Things We Do...That Others May Live." I think for sure that was one of Pepper's many personal mottos, too.

Matthew 10:39 comes to mind: "Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."

That's pretty much how I remember "Pep." A man of God who would lay his life down for the sake of others. And in so doing, find himself along the way: as a vessel, a piece of salt, light in the darkness. A person who would be used by God for His glory.

He never seemed to need or want much. He loved his family, his wife. And she has always been a trooper, supporting him along the way.

I wasn't able to go to his funeral, which was this morning at 10:30 in New Jersey where he lived. Isaac and I were all ready to go and then suddenly out of nowhere I came down with strep throat and couldn't get out of bed. By the time I got to the docs and got antibiotics I started to feel a bit better, but we would have had to leave that night and I didn't want to get anyone sick as I was still contagious. My sisters, Carrie and Anna, did go though, and they filled me in on how the services went.

My heart hurts for my mom and my aunts (and for his wife, my Aunt Linda, too). The deep pain they feel for his physical life now gone can only be filled with memories. Good ones though. But memories.

I know sometimes grief can set in after the rush and mayhem is all over. And I pray that if it does, those grieving find peace in knowing he is now in heaven. I love you Uncle Pepper. You're an inspiration. I wish I had told you that more. Say hi to Nana for us. We'll all miss you.

Aunt Linda and Uncle Pepper, top right. 

Spinach & Kale chips for the win.

Today is my in-office day. It reminds me of all that is the horrible NoVa commute. Admittedly, I am spoiled to be on a WFH schedule 3-days a week. And therefore, when I DO commute in my two days I forget how drained it makes me when I get home at 5:45. Even if work wasn't that busy, the stop and go traffic pattern for 11 miles straight is enough to wear a person thin.

What IS it about this area that is so draining on the mind & body?

Thank God for Starbucks. And Marshalls' Spinach & Kale chips. Those things are ADDICTING.

Maya and I went to Marshall's today at lunch. We do that on occasion just get out of the office. It helps break up the day and feeds our shopping obsession. We can be dangerous together. Did I mention they're having a clearance event right now? Look out!

For some reason I always pick up their chips though. They're so unique, and they look and seem healthier than most of the ones you buy in the store. I also picked up a fun popcorn that was made with coconut oil. It actually TASTES like coconut. Mmmmm.

I went to Marshall's yesterday at lunch too (I could live there) while Isaac and Levi were at Home Depot, and bought a whole bunch of crap I didn't need. I don't even know where I'm going to put half of it, but I did buy this cute little sign that I adore (and also the tray it's sitting on). The diamond that is in front of the sign Levi got in a gumball machine and he gave it to me. It melts my heart so much and the two go perfect together.

I didn't work out today at lunch (like I try to normally do) because I'm subbing a class tonight. I'm really not looking forwarding to having the class outside in this heat if that's what the community wants to do. Blah! At least I'll get a good workout in though.

Isaac is home with Levi this week - I always like it when he's off because I don't have to worry about making meals or anything. He mentioned he might take him to Chuck-E-Cheese. I wonder if that happened. One last hoorah before Kindergarten. :(

Next week begins orientation, and then three half days before he starts full days on the 29th. I've got everything else but his shoes. They have to be all black! Not quite sure where I'll find those, but I'll be on a mission this weekend.

Isaac loves his weeks off. He stayed up late watching "Tyrant" while I was watching "The O.C." I am really sad that Johnny died and even more heartbroken that it broke Marissa and Ryan up. I think they'll get back together though. And Seth has really grown on me.

Working from home three days a week really makes it easier to stay up later and watch shows. I just roll out of bed in my PJ's the next morning and open up my laptop. I'm really, really thankful we get to WFH and hope that benefit never goes away.

I gotta say, though, I will be curious to see how things pan out when Levi starts going to school every day. We'll have to leave the house by 7:45 at the latest. Most days I'm not even up by then. Serious wake-up call.

Have a great evening. XOXO.

A day with the girls and Levi.

Yesterday, I spent the day with my mom, two sisters, niece, aunt, and Levi. We took Aunt Betsy out to celebrate her birthday at Bob Evans.

We met in Oakton, where she lives, and it brought back some memories about my Nana. Driving down some familiar roads, one where she used to live, reminded me of my trips to Vienna to visit her when she was all alone in her floor-level apartment. Carrie, Anna, and I would sometimes have fights on our way up there, or been mad at each other about something before arriving, and we would bring our bad attitudes with us to Nana's. Poor, Nana. She just put up with us selfish runts.

She was the best Nana you could find, always complaining about how she couldn't stand Rush Limbaugh, yet having the radio tuned to him all day long. She always made my favorite pasta dish when we visited, and had candy in jars around the house.

It was always cozy there.

Sometimes we'd go to her community pool. Mariah was itty bitty at the time, I doubt she even remembers. And sometimes on my way to her house I'd stop at the Coffee Beanery to get a coffee. I wish we'd visited her more.

Anyway, being with Aunt Betsy yesterday, and even visiting her house, made me remember Nana. Maybe it was because mom and Aunt Betsy highly resemble her too, in their own ways. Their stances, the way they talk, their thin hair. :)

Being with family has been just what I needed right now. I'm not a big social person to begin with (aside from family). I like to keep to myself most days. I find my energy in being alone, in peace. It's where I get a lot done, where I find inspiration, and where my mind is rejuvenated. I get anxiety and stress when I'm around large groups of people, or even when I have to pretend that everything's alright when it's really not.

I just....like to be at home. Home is where the heart is. And home is also where family is.

Anyways, it was good to be with family. There's a sense of uplifting-ness when you're around each other. And even when not all of you are "with it," just the mere presence of all of you together, knowing you'll be there for each other, is a great feeling.

I'm thankful to have my family. For the way that we love one another and don't judge each other. For the safety that we find in our friendship. For the nice things we do for each other, getting each other gifts when we're sad, and saying prayers for each other when we're down.

Carrie, mom, Levi, and I went to Ross after we visited Aunt Betsy's. Mom took Levi to the dollar store and bought him some more swords (insert eye-rolling emoji here!). She loves that boy to the moon and back, what can I say? I love their relationship. And she also bought me a snicker's. She's so thoughtful. It's still sitting in my freezer, calling out my name.

I felt like we had all run a marathon by 4:30, when our day was winding down, but somehow I only had about 2500 steps logged. I do NOT understand it! Probably more mentally draining than physically. Sometimes mental running around can be more draining than physical! AMIRITE?

And does anyone else have a love-hate relationship with northern Virginia? I think that's a big part of it. Driving around in a car all day, sitting at stoplight after stoplight, merging onto highways and trying to hear the lady on your iPhone map tell you where to go while your 4yr old is asking you 900 questions in a row can be a hoot! A mental breakdown hoot!

As much as I hate NOVA, I love it. I love that D.C. is right around the corner, even though as of late that thought kind of scares me. I love that 7-eleven's are on every corner, that thousands of mufflers spew smelly fumes into the air throughout the day, and that you can always find a house with a light on inside, somewhere, on any given night. <3 p="">

So long July. Until next year...

July is my favorite month of the year, and it is already over. It seems like just yesterday we were so eagerly waiting for the "nicer weather" to come along, and now we're already getting ready to shop for school supply lists and making fall plans.

There is something special about July to me. It's partly because Isaac's birthday and our anniversary is in July, and my favorite holiday, Independence Day. So many things and events and trips usually occur this month for us (along with some sort of family getaway) that's is always exciting to see what this month will bring each year. But it also has a lot to do with the fact that I just adore July because it's right in the middle of the year, in the "heat" of all that is summer, and it just makes my heart "melt." Boy, I'm on a roll with these puns.

July is like, in the midst of summer glory. The sun and heat beat down so hard, make you sweat, and all you want to do is jump in a pool and throw some dogs on the grill. And events, concerts, and fairs can be found on every corner. It's a midpoint...where summer is kind of just getting rolling, but as the month ends, it's on the downswing to fall. A peak, if you will. A highlight. My heart rejoices.

I love sitting outside on patios with friends enjoying a glass of wine, watching the condensation form on our glasses, or doing water balloons with my buddy just enjoying the slow-pace of life. There is more silence and peace in the world, it seems, and definitely in my spirit.

So, I always get sad when it is over. And then I get a wee bit excited for fall. Seeing the Jansport backpacks in Marshall's and the racks of paper and pencils in Wal-mart. The apples in season and the feelings of the first day of school, starting afresh. It's all so exciting.

Today I write to you from the office. We are in "slow" season right now and there's not a ton happening in the way of production. Most of our clients are on vacation and there aren't too many shows happening around the country. In this industry, it's typically a time to quiet down, take a breath, and gear up for fall (God help me).

I'm going to see the movie "Bad Moms" tonight with some girlfriends after work. They don't know it, but I already saw it with Isaac on vacation (we died laughing). It was one of the only good looking movies out at the time so we went for it. Though a bit raunchy, It was funny and I know I'll be laughing all over again.

As we enjoy the last few bits of summer and head into fall, I think about how Levi is starting his first year of kindergarten and how my heart can hardly bear it. He was just born yesterday, wasn't he?

For now, we'll soak up the rest of summer and enjoy it while we can.

(Papaw and Levi during his first fishing experience!)

Dear Momma.

It's taken me a long time to realize what enjoying life really is. And what loving my body really means. And what giving it to the Lord really does for me.

My sister sent me an article tonight about how being a mom is enough.

Before I became a mom I was always trying to figure myself out. Learn this or that about. Pursue my passions. Figure out what I wanted to do. Do everything it took to discover my insides.

Being a mom doesn't define me, but it does help me put things into perspective.

I'm not saying this to be cliche or to be one of those annoying mommy-bloggers who think they have the whole "not figured out" thing, figured out. I'm just saying this to say that being a mom is really humbling, eye-opening, and a nudge to get you out of your comfort zone, yet be at peace with who you are, all at the same time.

I find myself annoying to people when I'm in line at the store and I'm calling Levi to come here when he's at the sunglasses stand and not listening. I raise my voice and add a frustrated tone.

"Annoyed much?" people in line behind me are probably saying.

Yes. I'm annoyed. And it's out of my comfort zone to BE annoyed in public at a preschooler. But I have to, because if I don't sound serious he will stand there all day and then I will have to walk over to get him and hold up people behind me.

Uncomfortable.

Humbling.

At the same time, I find myself at peace with the realization that I just might BE annoying. I can't help it. I do my best to make the best decisions in AND out of the public eye, but at the end of the day, it is what it is.

I have sags and bags, stretch marks, flab, impatience, I get frustrated. I'm tired. I'm overwhelmed, I'm spent. I get angry. I get lonely. I get sad. I get HANGRY. I get jealous. I get tired.

And I JUST want to watch my Nicholas Sparks movies after he goes to bed. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK PEOPLE?!

But seriously. At peace.

I'm coming to peace with the realization that I have responsibilities at this point that require me to be ON point.

To stop what I'm doing and take a little person to the potty.

To not be able to be a part of an adult conversation all the time because I am hiding Easter eggs for an ambitious 4-year old.

To know that I don't have it all together, but that I put makeup on and rock those sneaks like they're stilettos because they're what I enjoy and what is comfortable in the moment.

Enjoying life, to me, is about getting that popcorn at the movie theater. Enjoying the wine. Sitting on the couch when you could be doing dishes. And just breathing.

You're tired, momma. Relax.

Loving my body means finally realizing that we are filled with a world of other women and moms who think these exact same things. Who worry and fret about these exact same body-image issues, thereby creating an entire sea of women who suffer and feel jealousy, self-consciousness, remorse, and shame.

Momma, you are loved and beautiful. Relax.

Giving it to the Lord is the ultimate challenge. AND goal.

I forGOT that the answer in all this is to give it to Him. When we finally realize it, we will find so much joy and help beyond what we could ever fathom on our own.

He is in control of our passions, our desires, our wants, needs, fears, and our hearts.

When we give those to Him, he sees our hearts. He reaches down and grabs these emotions, I think. And controls them. Puts them into perspective for us, slows us down, and helps us to recall that when He has our hearts, life is so much better.

That's it. When he HAS our hearts.

Give Him your heart, dear momma. He won't let you down.

Finally.

All these years and I've finally figured it out.

Exercise really IS about having fun.

Toned abs. Chiseled arms. Muscular legs.

That's all well and good, but if you're not having a BLAST while you're doing it, then what's the point?

Unless you're training for a marathon, the Olympic games, or some other kind of competition, I recommend fully embracing your sweat sesh.

There is SO much pressure to be this or that. Do this or that. Try a new workout. Get the on-demand version. Follow her. Tweet this.

You must do YOU. And mean it.

If you like to dance while you work out, then do it. If you like to play upbeat music, then do it. If you like to do bridge poses like you're 12 and in gymnastics class again, do it. Roller skates? Go for it.

Working out is ALL about you. And that is what I love about it. There is SO much variety to choose from. Sweating should just be the RESULT of an effort to having fun.

Moving the body is mechanical, but it's also natural. We move our bodies every day. And finding a way to do that, that makes you happy and delighted, is key.

It IS good to push yourself. That is how you see results. Honestly. You won't see results if you're not. But there is magic in doing it in a way that is enjoyable.

A lot of Christian music bores me. I'm gonna say it. It does. So, I've got to find an approach using clean music that is upbeat.

I find so much inspiration from music. Feeling the beat gets me SUPER pumped.

It isn't about move, it's about getting a good workout and feeling like a million bucks that is the key.

Feel it. Move to it. Groove to it. Work it. Push. Sweat. Pump. Breathe. And be YOU.

Once in life.

Once in life you turn 33.

Your sister makes you a special cake (that's even your favorite color). You gather with family at everyone's favorite restaurant in town and eat greasy pizza that comforts your soul.

You open a few gifts that make your heart leap because they were bought with love. And you kiss your little niece who smells like toots and formula.

You laugh with your older niece. You "get" each other. And reminisce about her armpit catching fire at the last shindig at Mimi's.

You try to tame your son who has had too much sugar from the Paula Dean cake and is running around like a madman, dancing his moves to songs being played by Papaw in the background.

You take in your mom's hostess beauty, the way she never uses paper plates, and the way her candles are lit making the evening cozy.

A few days ago you were one age younger. One WHOLE age.

Today, you are that much closer to the end of your physical life.

And while you may not feel or look old to the rest of the world, you feel and look old to yourself.

For, just moments ago you were running in the backyard with neighbors who are now grown up too, some even going through their own struggles and finding their way back home again.

You were riding bikes and buying penny candy at the candy store that is now a tasting room for wine.

Moments ago you were getting your first beat up car and making $9 an hour at the local gift shop up the street.

You were doing back flips on the track at the high school football game and watching your boyfriend carry your cheer box back to that beater car.

You were at the prom wearing your custom-made, green shiny dress and glowing more than ever from all those trips to the "Aloha Tanning" booth.

You were broke, and in college, and in love.

You were walking down the aisle, letting loose tears of joy.

You were imperfect. Still and always.

You learned many life lessons. Including the true meaning of love.

You gave birth.

You felt a new kind of love.

You realized how important family was.

And that it's all that matters now. That and knowing Christ more deeply.

33.

Winter Wilderness.

Isaac and Levi are currently watching "The Chronicles of Narnia" right now.

I love this movie. It's one of my favorites of all time because it's whimsical and mysterious, beautiful, and captivating.

It is a reminder for me of Christ's love. His eternal favor. And the beauty of His breath.

It is a time when four children walk through a dark and gloomy forest, filled with temptation and evil, to find Truth.

Winter is a tough season to stay motivated, with just about anything.

It's cold.

It's depressing.

It's gray.

The sun is less present.

And everyone gets cabin fever and claustrophobia.

It seems that winter makes us internalize things more, too. Do a lot of sorting out, and in. With not only our feelings and state of mind, but of our closets and wardrobe. A cleansing, if you will.

In winter, I like wearing sweatpants and slippers. Drinking hot chocolate. Curling up and watching movies. Playing in the snow. Once. And watching The Bachelor and American Idol. These are a few of my favorite things!

Oh, and my birfday. Teehee.

But on a normal, every day basis, I just crave sunshine and long for the warm weather again.

A state of hibernation only lasts so long in my mind, and then one must open up to see the light.

I think this scenario sounds a lot like our hearts can be.

When we struggle and are downtrodden, weary, or burdened in any way, we hibernate. Close ourselves off and try to search for answers from within the Deep.

Sometimes, this is the best place to be. It's where the valley is, I think. It's the wilderness, where we find the most comfort in crying out for help because it's dark and we can't be seen. No one cries out in broad daylight, do they?

Although I do believe that "the darkness doesn't have any answers," I do think it can help us regain our strength to come OUT into the light.

The darkness, while it may be sad and lonely, is a place I think we often go through first before we become enlightened.

I like the term wilderness. Jesus was tested in the wilderness with temptation (Matthew 4:1).

We are often tested with temptation in the wilderness too. Of giving in to our flesh. We walk blindly, in the dark, seeking to find the pathway to our Savior. The pathway out into the light.

I'm going to start calling winter what it seems to be for me. The wilderness. A time to be sober in Him. To be alone. To get refreshed and become cleansed. To glean wisdom and understanding. To ponder and seek His everlasting Truth.

I pray to keep this promise. To seek Him during this dark and difficult season we call winter.

Blizzard of 2016

Most days my house is filled with clothes and dishes. Laundry to do, mounded up in piles galore, crying out for a little soap and fabric softener attention.

Dishes sit in the sink, unbathed for days, collecting leftover remnants from meals like Chinese takeout and colored noo-noo's, nibbled on by a little boy.

My tiny house is a constant war-zone. A place where galloping around the house with swords is an every day event and brushing teeth is like PULLING teeth.

This weekend was no exception.

And particularly because of the "Blizzard of 2016," as they are calling it, that hit us on Friday.

Being cooped up has had it's pluses, and downsides. In addition to chores and tons of usual weekend crap to do, it's got us all snuggled together, in sweatshirts and footies, doing our puzzle and drinking hot chocolate. Catching up on shows and visiting with neighbors, and indulging in oh-so-not-healthy Ramen noodles that are so wrong they're right. Everyone knows it, about the Ramen. 

The snow that has hit us, and finally stopped, has given us a great and much needed opportunity to disconnect from the outside world. To be closer to each other and spend time in stillness and peace, off the road and out of traffic. Playing outside and making memories, for which I know we'll look back on fondly.

My neighbor had a meet and greet party planned for Saturday night, when the snow was a blowin' and the blizzards were a blizzardin' at it's peak. I thought she would cancel it, but to our surprise she didn't. More to our surprise were the amount of people who actually still came.

At 5:30, we bundled up in our 16 layers of clothing and trekked three houses down with our only two bags of (Lay's) chips (commence whining for my now non-existent night snack), and knocked on her door (WHO, by the way, is an older sister of someone Isaac graduated in his high school class with. It's weird how life comes full circle sometimes, and weird visiting with a familiar face that I never thought I'd get to know).

Everyone set their boots on towels and draped their coats on chairs. How did everyone look so put together? I had no makeup on and my hair was atrocious.

But anyway...

We were not thrilled about wading over there in hip-deep snow, but I'm glad we did. It was such a cozy little gathering and a sweet chance to meet neighbors and huddle up together in the storm.

Summer is my favorite time of year, without a doubt. And I'm already phenin' for it. Badly.

But this winter I'll always remember...

That time Levi and I bundled up and walked to "Red Mimi's" through mounds of snow.

That time all three of us had a "snowball" fight (the snow was not snowball material).

That time our Honda was absolutely covered!!



That time we finished our 1,000 piece puzzle.

I love these times when we get to sit and chill and do nothing, trapped inside the house. With no worries but entertaining ourselves. We need more of it.

We need more simplicity. As a whole. In general. In society.

I'm thankful for this blizzard (though I'm hoping it didn't negatively impact too many people across the east, leaving them without power and such).

And while my heart is aching for spring and summer, I'll always remember this!!!

Fitness as a witness.

I don't know a lot about anything. Just a little about some things. And the few things I do know have helped me discover A LOT about myself, and what I know to be true about fitness and health.

I adore fitness and health. There is nothing I believe more than nourishing our bodies with good food and keeping our God-given machines in use and active, to stay healthy, fit, alive, vibrant, energetic, "happy," and full of life.

Fitness is a GOOD thing. Exercise is a GOOD thing. And no matter what anyone says or tells you otherwise, working out and eating right is GOOD for the body. Plan and simple.

Our bodies, believe it or not, crave nourishment. Without food, we'd be dead. What it doesn't crave is junk food. You know, the typical things that taste so good on our tongue but are doing nothing for us inside? Cheesy bread, fries, cookies, and sweets taste much better, quite frankly, than a turnip. To me, anyway. And the general human nature in us, and sometimes our hormones and moods, make us crave bad food.

Some people, particularly fitness and health enthusiasts, might disagree and say, "No, those things gross me out now and make me sick thinking about eating them!"

This might be true, and I can actually relate.

When you are fueling your body with the right things and exercising regularly, your body tends to switch gears and craves more of what is good for you, rather than what is bad. Though it does not mean you still don't crave the occasional ice cream cone!!

Even when I exercise and "eat right" I still crave my ice cream and treats.

But there is a mindset shift, I think, when we begin to eat nutritiously and whole, and when we begin to get our blood flowing and muscles working, building up our metabolic heart rate.

Our body and mind begin to recalibrate itself, reminding us that what it really needs is the attention we're giving it.

It is not realistic to eat healthy and clean 100% of the time, though. Sometimes we are just surrounded by food at parties, or at an event, and the choices are limited. The important thing I remember is just to try and choose the healthier options.

It is not realistic, either, to exercise for an hour day. Or even find time to go to the gym (add your 15 mins to get ready, 30 mins to get there and back, and an hour to work out, you're already almost at 2 hours of your day). Who has time for that?

Even with at-home workouts, it's still not always realistic to workout for an hour. Particularly if you work a full-time job and have a family!

30-minutes a day is plenty. 

More, if you can squeeze it in, like going to the park with the kids or taking the dogs on a walk.

Taking "steps," as all of us Fitbit freaks out there monitor, has been a huge eye-opener. It's amazing how little I can move in one day (lol). But the FitBit truly does help make me aware.

It also helps you see that when you are more active, you burn more calories.

It's all about being active.

Over the years, I've really begun to see all of this a little more clearly. And I've started to realize that that's exactly all it is: activity and nourishment.

We're not going to be perfect all the time. We are human. We crave. We fall. We get back up, and sometimes repeat.

It's an every day battle for some, and it will never end (until of course we get our new bodies when we see our heavenly Father!). For to which I say, this battle will no longer matter.

But for the time being, it does. To us. To strive to be more energized moms, more active dads, better listeners, thinkers, and doers. All of that comes with making healthy lifestyle choices with the way we fuel our "machines."

This article is supposed to be have an underlying tone to it though, recognizing that fitness really goes hand in hand with our faith. Fitness can be a witness...

...to people struggling with losing weight.
to people who are depressed.
to those who are weary.
to those who are stressed and anxious.
and even to friends who grapple with exercise overload or binge eating.

All of these scenarios, these beings who we come across daily, might need your fitness as their witness.

What I mean by witness, as it RELATES to fitness:

A living testimony that a healthy and balanced combo of exercise and eating right does the body, the mind, and our spirits good. And while it is a daily struggle for all of us, we can overcome temptation.   

For some people, seeing a real example of someone else who overcame an obstacle is all they need to kickstart themselves.

But I go back to activity and nourishment. These are the cornerstones of living a healthy lifestyle.

And too much of it can be a detriment.

It saddens me so much to see how fitness and health have gotten so out of control. In social media, on TV, in the news.

Fitness and health have always been a popular subject.

It is just recently now, I think, that it has become somewhat of an obsession.

I can say this with humility, but truth, because I still struggle with it being an obsession too. It's always on my mind, food. And I've often worried too much how my pants will fit tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.

I've been there. Struggled with my weight, and not known HOW to have a healthy balance. Worried to much. Looked too much in the mirror. But I've also come to places of feeling good about myself too. It's a constant desire for me to continually want to do good. And if I'm being honest, I struggle too.

Shouldn't that be what it is? A constant desire to continually do good.

"Do good!" That's what my Nana used to always say, anyway.

It's hard not to obsess, quite frankly. We want something so bad we can "taste" it. We see celebs on magazines and people from our favorite TV shows, and our co-workers, and on and on and on.

We must come to a place where we are ok with who we are and what God gave us. Because we cannot change that. We can work to lose fat, tone our muscles, and become fit, yes. Those things are positive and good, done with balance.

But we will never be able to change what our physical makeup is. What we were born with.

We must accept that we are, indeed, getting older. Each one of us. And while we work out to stay fit so that in our old age we can pick up our grandchildren, the wrinkles are going to come. The sags will be rampant. And there is not a darn thing we can do about it besides continue to stay active, nourish our bodies, and be content with HOW and WHO God made us.

The hard part is that I think sometimes we don't realize it has actually become such an obsession until we look back.

God designed us to move. So let's move more.

He created fruits and vegetables. Let's eat them more.

But so help us, may we not ever be ashamed of who God made us and try to change that.

May fitness (and exercise, and health, and nutrition, and all that goes in hand with it) be our witness.

May we try to be living examples of our God-given machines by being active and eating healthy because that's what He desires us to do. To please Him by taking care of our temples. After all, our bodies are a temple (1 Cor. 6:19).

My prayer is that we would use our gifts, skills, knowledge, and strength, to represent fitness and health in a positive way. Encouraging activity and movement and promoting the benefits of eating living, colorful foods. Not because we have to, but that we will want to because we know it's what He's called us to do.

Routines. We need them.

Writing a blog post every few days is hard to do. Especially when you have a little one.

Let us face it: those three hours our babies are in preschool each morning is GOLDEN (lol).

There is so much to do during those three hours, not to mention work, if you work from home. And when I am not busy with work, I'm frantically making my to-do lists and crossing things off to try to get them all done while there is PEACE and QUIET.

For example:
-make meatloaf
-fold clothes
-update calendar and respond to invites
-research Shaklee stuff
-workout

I intend to get all of these things done, especially when I am not busy with work. But sometimes I just like to use the 3 hours to sit in silence, or catch up on a show, or watch clips on youtube of mindless crap I can't concentrate on (oxymoron much?) while Levi is chatting and bouncing around, or READ my books.

Parenting is hard. It's really hard. And it's also a huge blessing.

I learn about myself almost every day, while Levi is learning too.

My moods. My habits. My intentions. Desires. Failures. Victories.

Kids change you, for sure.

One thing that's really helped me over the years, especially since becoming a mom, is having routines. Without them I think I'd go nuts.

I am learning to also try to enjoy not having them, especially when I'm on vacation or when it's the weekend, and just to be relaxed and still. But during the week, they're lifesavers.

Side note: I'm also learning that there is not as much time for things (like getting ready for school) as I used to tend to think there was. And that EARLIER is better.

For example, our morning routine before school consists of getting up at 8, dressed by 8:15, breakfast by 8:30, and from 8:45 - 9 we brush teeth, hair, and put on shoes. I've almost gotten it down to a TEE! I'm so proud of myself, lol.

It took me a while to figure this timing out, but once I did, the mornings became smooth as butter.

We throw in a couple odd and end things like crossing off days on his calendar and such, too, which helps set the tone for the day, I think. And helps him learn and remember what day it is!

I'm a big fan of routines. I think they help kids stay focused and on track, especially when the last thing on a four year old's mind is focusing. They are scatterbrained little minions.

We also have bedtime routines, too. And again, it took me a while, but I started getting him ready for bed way earlier than his (semi) 8:30 bed time. Because by the time it takes him to change, get his teeth brushed, and pick out his book, we've wasted a half hour and it's after 9 before his settling in. And I hate waking him up for school in the mornings if he ends up sleeping in.

So, we start the pajamas at about 7, brush his teeth around 7:30, and lounge around for a few until it's time to head into his room. It's been good.

Hopefully, through the years, these routines will help give him a sense for organization and show him (and us) they're necessary and helpful in life.

AND...they work!

Happy Wednesday friends. Friday is too far away...

New Year's Resolutions.

In today's day and age, I am always hearing people say "New Year's resolutions don't work. I don't make them anymore."

I don't understand this, really.

Are they not trendy? Are they not hip? Are they out of style?

I think they are. No, I think people THINK they are.

Quite frankly, I think New Year's resolutions are great. They have a lot of meaning and are a chance for people to set goals and try to stick to them. Whether it's something tangible like losing weight and going to the gym, or to work on a virtue, like patience, they're all good.

Yes, YES. We all need lifestyle changes too, especially when it may come to our nutrition and health. Lifestyle changes are important in those areas. But it is indeed OK to set goals for ourselves too.

Goals help keep us on track, keep us accountable, and give us something to work towards. They provide an end in sight. They give us a finish line. And THAT is something that helps us stay focused.

I've heard some people create vision boards for this kind of thing too, displaying in pictures what they hope to accomplish or achieve. It gives them something to look at throughout the year to help them keep in mind what they set out to do at the first of the year.

I like that one.

New Year's is one of my favorite times of year.

I love going into somewhat of a hibernation, for the month of December. And moreso the last two weeks of it. It's like a state of pure bliss with the work parties, slowing down of client projects, shopping, stay-cationing, hot chocolate drinking, and family and friend bonding that makes waiting the whole year for it worthwhile. It just STINKS that it's over so quickly.

After all the hibernating and eating of delightful food and hitting sales and staying up late and sleeping in, that dreadful moment comes, though, where you have to get back to reality. You must clean your house, put up all your gifts, put the decorations away, go back to work, and get life back to "normal," whatever that may be in your household.

It is so unfortunate, really, that life has to be this way. That we can't always be in a state of enjoyment with family and friends and the seasons and year-round holidays, and that we feel we have to rush back to work. I wish it wasn't so. I wish we all were able to enjoy life just a little bit more. Soak it in a little bit longer. And not RUSH back to our jobs and our commutes and the hustle and bustle.

Is it really worth it?

*Sigh*

So, today I declare that I do believe in resolutions. I think they are awesome. And I hope you make some.

Christmas vacation...the best.

This has been one of the best Christmas vacation breaks in my life!

I took off two weeks of work, which began on the 19th of December. Today is January 1st and I don't go back to work until the 4th. It is nearing an end, which I can hardly believe.

Levi was off too and we've had the BEST time gallivanting around, running errands, shopping, wrapping presents together, watching movies and just relaxing.

I don't remember the last time I got up for days on end with no plans made and just chilled, not having to worry about much.

Freedom.

It was so nice.

We did have all sorts of things in mind that we wanted to do, and we've done a lot of them.

We saw the new Chipmunks movie in theaters, had lunch with Gramie, got our Cinnabons on Christmas Eve at Potomac Mills, watched a few Christmas movies including "Christmas with the Kranks," "Kung Fu Panda Christmas," and "The Holiday." I got caught up on some of my O.C. episodes too, blogged a little, read a LOT, and just relaxed and drank more cups of coffee (and wine) than I count on my fingers.

Levi and I snuggled a lot and he drew lots of pictures for the fam. We also had some serious sword and pillow fights with each other and daddy too.

We had devotions too! And did I tell you on the 16th we prayed together to invite Jesus into his heart? :) <3 p="">
Right now, we are still sitting here at home enjoying the day at hand. He is watching the new "Minions" movie that he bought yesterday from Toys R Us with his own money and eating an eggo, per usual.

I really, really, REALLY, do not want to face Monday and going back to reality. It'll be ok a few hours in, but for right now, I'm dreading it BADLY.

Perhaps one day Isaac and I will get to a place where we own our own business and make our own hours.

That would be so nice.

Today my thought is to take the Christmas decorations down and get to the grocery store.

With the New Year starting and the sun actually halfway making an appearance today (we've had so much RAIN these past few weeks), it's got me phenin' for the warmer weather already. After New Year's, I'm done with the cold, LOL.

Levi also starts back to preschool on Monday, which is another reminder that it's only another half year left of school until until he'll be on the road to kindergarten in the fall.

Seriously....WHERE has time gone? I do NOT understand it.

He'll probably be going to Haydon for his first year, which is where I went to school. I'm sure a lot has changed there though. The circle of life, it's crazy... and it scares me sending my little guy off to foreign territory. Probably more ME than HIM.

The New Year also has me thinking a lot about careers, and long-term life decisions. Where we will be working in the coming months and years and if either Isaac or I will ever change jobs down the road.

What other changes will come, if any?

I'm always hopeful and inspired by the onset of a New Year and I hope there are some great ones in 2016 friends!!

Setting cookies and milk out for Santa on Christmas Eve!