Levi starts Kindergarten, Isaac starts his happy dance, and my heart starts breaking.

Hi guys.

Just doing a quick post about that new milestone Kindergarten that we hit yesterday. I feel like there won't be another major milestone for a while now, though we do have sports leagues and games to look forward to, which gets me excited.

Despite every mother's hesitation to let their baby go, we couldn't be more thrilled for the school we decided on. We've had nothing but pleasant experiences during the enrollment process and the communication about everything has been wonderful. Teachers are very kind and helpful, administration puts my mind at ease, and I already have a weird obsession with the school colors. Fall scarves anyone?

I definitely never imagined we'd actually go through with sending him to a private school. I mean I'd hoped for it, but never thought it was truly in the cards for us to do it until the time to enroll him became a reality. I give a lot of credit to Isaac for putting away a ton of savings behind the scenes to allow for this opportunity. I'm not confident we can do this every year, but I hope God will provide so that we can.

The first day was not as rough as I thought it would be. It was actually quite pleasant, despite my melting heart. Levi couldn't wait to go and meet everyone and start learning even though he was the only one who didn't bring a backpack ... #epicmomfail. I still stand by my point that the teacher said they didn't need one on the first day! Oh well...

We took our morning pictures on the front stoop, combed his hair and brushed his teeth, got his uniform on, and headed out.

Everyone met in the gym for an orientation and the kids were dismissed. The parents stuck around for a few hours to hear some presentations and then the day was done.

I have no idea how to do this chapter of life. This will be all new to us, just like bringing him home from the hospital was. Though oddly, this phase seems like it will be harder. And I am so hard on MYSELF trying to cross all the t's and dot all the i's with making sure all is in place.

What happened on his first day (I didn't tell you my fail of picking him up late from class) was a reminder that I'm just a mom trying to make it and figure this thing out like everyone else. Forget the t's and i's, it's survival mode now!

God is really good to us. And we made it! Thankful for His grace.

Here are a few pics of the day. Gosh I love this kid! And to the title's point, yes, Isaac is doing his happy dance because on his days off now he will have a whole day to himself. The house better be spic n' span then, I'm just sayin'!

Uncle Pepper.

My Uncle Pepper passed away this week. Early Wednesday morning to be exact. He was 70 years old and too young.

It's been an unexpected road for all of us, I think. Watching him one day be diagnosed with a lung disease and then the next few months getting progressively worse. I was so hopeful and thought for sure that he was going to make it, or at least have a good long while before needing any immediate action taken to preserve his physical life. But the sad thing is, it seemed that it was too late. By the time he was diagnosed I understand that his lungs were so bad that he just got weaker and weaker. And when he did not pass for the lung transplant his body just couldn't go on, and he died that next morning.

I'm so thankful that my mom and her sisters were all able to drive and see him that evening. It was all orchestrated so beautifully. And each one made it in time to say goodbye. My heart aches as I write this.

I was not close to Uncle Pepper in my adult years. I saw him every few years at a family function, or when he drove to visit for a birthday here or there and stayed with Aunt Betsy. I'd have to say I was closer to him when I was still living with mom and dad and they made me go on road trips with them to visit random family, including Pepper and Linda (his wife). I'm so glad they did, because I have those memories with me, forever. And it's those memories that help me remember who he was.

Pepper was a man of God, to say the least. He loved Jesus so much. And it was said that while he was in the hospital, he was even witnessing to the nurses and doctors who took care of him. I'll always remember their tiny apartment in NYC that they lived in for so many years. We drove up one year as a family, and I'll never forget being amazed at how small it was, but how it seemed they could just make any spot work that God called them to be. And for some reason, black eyed peas stick out in my mind on that trip. Was it the food that was being served in the basement of their apartment building that night we came to visit? I cannot recall, but it's a memory I have that's always been there. The building, unfinished in nature, was intriguing. And memories of walking with dad through the halls and up the elevator to visit them is vivid.

And then there was New York City Relief. The result of so many selfless souls, including Uncle Pepper, who helped see a dream through. A dream that's motto is "These Things We Do...That Others May Live." I think for sure that was one of Pepper's many personal mottos, too.

Matthew 10:39 comes to mind: "Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."

That's pretty much how I remember "Pep." A man of God who would lay his life down for the sake of others. And in so doing, find himself along the way: as a vessel, a piece of salt, light in the darkness. A person who would be used by God for His glory.

He never seemed to need or want much. He loved his family, his wife. And she has always been a trooper, supporting him along the way.

I wasn't able to go to his funeral, which was this morning at 10:30 in New Jersey where he lived. Isaac and I were all ready to go and then suddenly out of nowhere I came down with strep throat and couldn't get out of bed. By the time I got to the docs and got antibiotics I started to feel a bit better, but we would have had to leave that night and I didn't want to get anyone sick as I was still contagious. My sisters, Carrie and Anna, did go though, and they filled me in on how the services went.

My heart hurts for my mom and my aunts (and for his wife, my Aunt Linda, too). The deep pain they feel for his physical life now gone can only be filled with memories. Good ones though. But memories.

I know sometimes grief can set in after the rush and mayhem is all over. And I pray that if it does, those grieving find peace in knowing he is now in heaven. I love you Uncle Pepper. You're an inspiration. I wish I had told you that more. Say hi to Nana for us. We'll all miss you.

Aunt Linda and Uncle Pepper, top right. 

Spinach & Kale chips for the win.

Today is my in-office day. It reminds me of all that is the horrible NoVa commute. Admittedly, I am spoiled to be on a WFH schedule 3-days a week. And therefore, when I DO commute in my two days I forget how drained it makes me when I get home at 5:45. Even if work wasn't that busy, the stop and go traffic pattern for 11 miles straight is enough to wear a person thin.

What IS it about this area that is so draining on the mind & body?

Thank God for Starbucks. And Marshalls' Spinach & Kale chips. Those things are ADDICTING.

Maya and I went to Marshall's today at lunch. We do that on occasion just get out of the office. It helps break up the day and feeds our shopping obsession. We can be dangerous together. Did I mention they're having a clearance event right now? Look out!

For some reason I always pick up their chips though. They're so unique, and they look and seem healthier than most of the ones you buy in the store. I also picked up a fun popcorn that was made with coconut oil. It actually TASTES like coconut. Mmmmm.

I went to Marshall's yesterday at lunch too (I could live there) while Isaac and Levi were at Home Depot, and bought a whole bunch of crap I didn't need. I don't even know where I'm going to put half of it, but I did buy this cute little sign that I adore (and also the tray it's sitting on). The diamond that is in front of the sign Levi got in a gumball machine and he gave it to me. It melts my heart so much and the two go perfect together.

I didn't work out today at lunch (like I try to normally do) because I'm subbing a class tonight. I'm really not looking forwarding to having the class outside in this heat if that's what the community wants to do. Blah! At least I'll get a good workout in though.

Isaac is home with Levi this week - I always like it when he's off because I don't have to worry about making meals or anything. He mentioned he might take him to Chuck-E-Cheese. I wonder if that happened. One last hoorah before Kindergarten. :(

Next week begins orientation, and then three half days before he starts full days on the 29th. I've got everything else but his shoes. They have to be all black! Not quite sure where I'll find those, but I'll be on a mission this weekend.

Isaac loves his weeks off. He stayed up late watching "Tyrant" while I was watching "The O.C." I am really sad that Johnny died and even more heartbroken that it broke Marissa and Ryan up. I think they'll get back together though. And Seth has really grown on me.

Working from home three days a week really makes it easier to stay up later and watch shows. I just roll out of bed in my PJ's the next morning and open up my laptop. I'm really, really thankful we get to WFH and hope that benefit never goes away.

I gotta say, though, I will be curious to see how things pan out when Levi starts going to school every day. We'll have to leave the house by 7:45 at the latest. Most days I'm not even up by then. Serious wake-up call.

Have a great evening. XOXO.

A day with the girls and Levi.

Yesterday, I spent the day with my mom, two sisters, niece, aunt, and Levi. We took Aunt Betsy out to celebrate her birthday at Bob Evans.

We met in Oakton, where she lives, and it brought back some memories about my Nana. Driving down some familiar roads, one where she used to live, reminded me of my trips to Vienna to visit her when she was all alone in her floor-level apartment. Carrie, Anna, and I would sometimes have fights on our way up there, or been mad at each other about something before arriving, and we would bring our bad attitudes with us to Nana's. Poor, Nana. She just put up with us selfish runts.

She was the best Nana you could find, always complaining about how she couldn't stand Rush Limbaugh, yet having the radio tuned to him all day long. She always made my favorite pasta dish when we visited, and had candy in jars around the house.

It was always cozy there.

Sometimes we'd go to her community pool. Mariah was itty bitty at the time, I doubt she even remembers. And sometimes on my way to her house I'd stop at the Coffee Beanery to get a coffee. I wish we'd visited her more.

Anyway, being with Aunt Betsy yesterday, and even visiting her house, made me remember Nana. Maybe it was because mom and Aunt Betsy highly resemble her too, in their own ways. Their stances, the way they talk, their thin hair. :)

Being with family has been just what I needed right now. I'm not a big social person to begin with (aside from family). I like to keep to myself most days. I find my energy in being alone, in peace. It's where I get a lot done, where I find inspiration, and where my mind is rejuvenated. I get anxiety and stress when I'm around large groups of people, or even when I have to pretend that everything's alright when it's really not.

I just....like to be at home. Home is where the heart is. And home is also where family is.

Anyways, it was good to be with family. There's a sense of uplifting-ness when you're around each other. And even when not all of you are "with it," just the mere presence of all of you together, knowing you'll be there for each other, is a great feeling.

I'm thankful to have my family. For the way that we love one another and don't judge each other. For the safety that we find in our friendship. For the nice things we do for each other, getting each other gifts when we're sad, and saying prayers for each other when we're down.

Carrie, mom, Levi, and I went to Ross after we visited Aunt Betsy's. Mom took Levi to the dollar store and bought him some more swords (insert eye-rolling emoji here!). She loves that boy to the moon and back, what can I say? I love their relationship. And she also bought me a snicker's. She's so thoughtful. It's still sitting in my freezer, calling out my name.

I felt like we had all run a marathon by 4:30, when our day was winding down, but somehow I only had about 2500 steps logged. I do NOT understand it! Probably more mentally draining than physically. Sometimes mental running around can be more draining than physical! AMIRITE?

And does anyone else have a love-hate relationship with northern Virginia? I think that's a big part of it. Driving around in a car all day, sitting at stoplight after stoplight, merging onto highways and trying to hear the lady on your iPhone map tell you where to go while your 4yr old is asking you 900 questions in a row can be a hoot! A mental breakdown hoot!

As much as I hate NOVA, I love it. I love that D.C. is right around the corner, even though as of late that thought kind of scares me. I love that 7-eleven's are on every corner, that thousands of mufflers spew smelly fumes into the air throughout the day, and that you can always find a house with a light on inside, somewhere, on any given night. <3 p="">

So long July. Until next year...

July is my favorite month of the year, and it is already over. It seems like just yesterday we were so eagerly waiting for the "nicer weather" to come along, and now we're already getting ready to shop for school supply lists and making fall plans.

There is something special about July to me. It's partly because Isaac's birthday and our anniversary is in July, and my favorite holiday, Independence Day. So many things and events and trips usually occur this month for us (along with some sort of family getaway) that's is always exciting to see what this month will bring each year. But it also has a lot to do with the fact that I just adore July because it's right in the middle of the year, in the "heat" of all that is summer, and it just makes my heart "melt." Boy, I'm on a roll with these puns.

July is like, in the midst of summer glory. The sun and heat beat down so hard, make you sweat, and all you want to do is jump in a pool and throw some dogs on the grill. And events, concerts, and fairs can be found on every corner. It's a midpoint...where summer is kind of just getting rolling, but as the month ends, it's on the downswing to fall. A peak, if you will. A highlight. My heart rejoices.

I love sitting outside on patios with friends enjoying a glass of wine, watching the condensation form on our glasses, or doing water balloons with my buddy just enjoying the slow-pace of life. There is more silence and peace in the world, it seems, and definitely in my spirit.

So, I always get sad when it is over. And then I get a wee bit excited for fall. Seeing the Jansport backpacks in Marshall's and the racks of paper and pencils in Wal-mart. The apples in season and the feelings of the first day of school, starting afresh. It's all so exciting.

Today I write to you from the office. We are in "slow" season right now and there's not a ton happening in the way of production. Most of our clients are on vacation and there aren't too many shows happening around the country. In this industry, it's typically a time to quiet down, take a breath, and gear up for fall (God help me).

I'm going to see the movie "Bad Moms" tonight with some girlfriends after work. They don't know it, but I already saw it with Isaac on vacation (we died laughing). It was one of the only good looking movies out at the time so we went for it. Though a bit raunchy, It was funny and I know I'll be laughing all over again.

As we enjoy the last few bits of summer and head into fall, I think about how Levi is starting his first year of kindergarten and how my heart can hardly bear it. He was just born yesterday, wasn't he?

For now, we'll soak up the rest of summer and enjoy it while we can.

(Papaw and Levi during his first fishing experience!)