So long, Giant.

If you know me, you know I hate change. I don't know what it is about me that clings to consistency.

If something does have to change in my life, like a rug in my house, or getting a different car, or MOVING (for pete's sake, that was enough trauma for a decade), I do end up dealing with it and it all turns out fine. And then get I attached to the new thing that changed and don't want THAT to change.

All a viscious cycle.

But seriously, I do hate it. I like my things, and my routines, and my familiar faces at shops, and the Farmer's Market, and knowing what's coming and going - what to expect when I go places and everything remaining as is.

I don't like change of management, unless they're unfitting to begin with, or new operations and procedures, substitutes for things. I like to know that I'm going to taste the same flavor of coffee every morning, because I know it will satisfy me like it did the day before.

I like knowing when my shows are coming on each week, etc..

As such, I regret to inform you that another huge change has made it's debut.

The Giant at Manassas Junction is closing.

I found out this morning as I was checking my email before heading to work, and there it was on my morning Manassas Patch udpate:

"GIANT AT MANASSAS JUNCTION TO CLOSE NOV. 1."

I immediately clicked on the link to open the full article as it read, 'After a thorough review of the operating performance of our stores, we made a very difficult decision to close the Manassas Junction location,' said Anthony Hucker, president of Giant Food in a release.

The article was extremely short with no concrete information other than this, followed by comments from those in the community expressing their sadness.

The store has been open for 31 years.

The first opening sentence of the article said '...Giant...won't be around for Thanksgiving shopping this year."

My heart sank.

Isaac was holding Levi and laughed at my absurdity.

While he was laughing, my organs stopped working.

This is the end of a lifetime. HELLO?

Ok, maybe not a lifetime, but half of one, or a 1/3 of one. So many memories were created at this shopping center, and now I won't really have any reason to go.

With it's closing of Blockbuster earlier this year, the only good left will be Starubucks and a nail salon. Oh, and Dominos.

I will remember that cozy sidewalk, walking up to the front doors of the best produce in town with my lists of ingredients and bonus card to tote. What will happen to my gas points?

...and grabbing a redbox movie for the evening, or a frappucino for the ride to Fair Oaks with Isaac.

Drama much? I know. That's me with these types of things.

So long, Giant. I will miss you like the desert misses the rain.

A Week of Adventures

Long gone are the days when a Sunday afternoon was spent slumbering on the couch and watching movies.

This afternoon, I found myself thinking about the times when Isaac and I would trot off to Bonefish and see a movie on weekend nights, as I was dicing up veggies to freeze for Levi's lunches.

A dinner out is a treat these days! Not to mention just having Isaac home. Our schedules are basically the exact opposite - and, as we say - I only see his "body in bed" half the time.

It is like we hand Levi off to each other in passing.

"Gotta leave for work hun, here's Leaves," I say in the morning as I lay him on the bed and he crawls all over Isaac's face.

Isaac, half awake, says "I'll see your body in bed tonight."

Yup.

It's so hard sometimes. 

But I believe we will look back and miss these moments, like I already miss the ones when Levi was first born. Getting up at 3 a.m. wasn't fun then, but it's fun to think about now. Isn't that how it always is?

I would pick Levi up out of his crib, cradle him in my arms, and nurse him while I watched reruns of "The Hills" and new episodes of "Lost." The light didn't bother him then. In the morning, we would repeat while "Good Morning America" and "Regis and Kelly" were on. I miss that SO MUCH.

Whenever something is new - you care for it like it's a fragile piece of glass. That's what we did with Levi.

We were tender, gentle, and particular.

Now, I fear I'm too rough with him sometimes, as I twist him back when he turns over in his changing table, or when I am not watching him and he bonks his head on the wall.

That's what boys do! And he sure is a boy.

I have a few baskets of laundry sitting next to me, but I am choosing to write instead of work. I vacuumed the entire house with Levi on my hip (he is scared to the bone of it), did laundry, boiled and cut his veggies, made our bed, and changed his crib sheet. I'm TIRED. Levi is napping. And I'm relaxing. Deal with it world.

"The Sandlot" is on, which I was watching a minute ago, right before I changed it to Football. Isaac would have me killed if he knew I forgot to change it to the Skins. Oops.

I love the Sandlot, though. One of my all time favs.

I wanted to write a post earlier about my adventurous week, but never got around to it.

Let me tell you about it.

Monday, I went to Elements Diet and Fitness for an orientation and observation, looking to gain some perspective and insight into the Personal Training world. Spent a few hours doing assessments on folks and learning how gym orientations are done. It was interesting.

Isaac was off all week, so I had several things scheduled to do. I have to take advantage of him being home to get things done!

Tuesday - here's my main adventurous stint - I went to Georgetown University Hospital to visit my niece Mariah. Hello, confusing freeways and veers. I missed the Whitehurst Freeway and had to turn around. Thankfully, the confusing road I turned on put me right back through a tunnel and onto Whitehurst. Heading onto Canal, I found myself traveling between tall buildings that were right up against the road. It felt very D.C. - ish. Oh, and there was a girl screaming at someone in a car near me for the entire street to hear. That's the city for ya! Ghetto central.

Sidenote: as our Skins are on, RG III just scored, and they are up by 11. Looking good? I think so!

When I arrived at the hospital, I was shocked at how old it looked. If you've ever been, it's kind of a school for students with an old-timey touch.

Isaac had taken Levi to West Virginia to see his great-Mamma that day and he wouldn't be home until later. A free night...what are those?

We had a great time.

 

Went to get dinner across the way and had some laughs.

I love adventures like this. New roads, new places, and figuring out how to get somewhere on my own. 

Wednesday night we were all home as a family. It was so nice.

Thursday night I went for my CPR recert - such a relief to have that done!

And Friday night we went to Foster's with mom and pop, followed by Nathan's for ice cream. Best part of the week! We ran into Isaac's aunt and uncle there - always bound to see someone you know at Nathan's! 

We let Levi run wild for a little bit and he had the bench-seaters ooo-ing and awww-ing at his cuteness. 

Go Skins!

Hello, beautiful!

This morning, I was driving to work thinking about all the things that annoy me.

Traffic. Rude drivers.Traffic. Going to work, period. THE LIST. Of the things in my head that I need to do that I don't know what to start with...

So much of my life is spent thinking. Because frankly, a lot of it is spent driving.

Thinking about things I want and need to do or become, and how I can integrate them into my life.

About coordinating my schedule with Isaac's. With Levi's.

How will I find the time to study for more training or let alone, clean my house? When we are ready to have a second child, how will we provide care for it when I go back to work? Will I have to go back to work?

Why is my job so lame? That's utterly out of category, but still a poignant thought.

Etc.

I am overwhelmed with scheduling - and conflicts among it. Finding time and energy to do the things that have to get done, much less that I want to get done, has become a common thorn in my side.

When will I find time to read those blog sites I saved? Read the book I bought? Teach a class?

As society always says - and by society I mean my sisters and I - HOW DO PEOPLE DO IT?

Last night I decided to take a jog/walk with my son. Normally, I gear myself up, put my stopwatch on, the works. But I said to myself, "no, you must enjoy this walk even if it means you don't get the workout you want."

I was worried about coming home in time to cook dinner and give Levi a bath and prepare my lunches for the week.

I was worried worried worried.


You see, it has to be perfect. Everything. Dinner, bath time, bottle time. The house must be clean before I go to bed.

Instead of letting it go and enjoying a walk with Levi - a crisp, cool, fall walk - I worry, thinking I cannot get all of it done.In return, I don't enjoy it.

I'm getting better.

I went for that walk. Levi loved it. And I picked up mom halfway and she walked me back. Good company, fresh air. Great times.

So this morning as I continued my annoyance fest, "How Great Thou Art" by Carrie Underwood slammed itself in my face on the radio.

Hello beautiful!

As I listened to her sing the words with less than effort, I remembered that He is great. And worthy. And that is all that matters on a daily basis.

#1 - The best job in the world I can do is be a mother to my son. That's what God called me to do. And that's what He wants me to do, so I better do it and stop worry about things I cannot change.

#2 - God, in all His greatness, will guide my steps. He controls me. He loves me. And if I desire things to change, or not to change - or whatever it is - He will help me. He will help me, He will help me, He will help me.

Living Vicariously Through My Dad?

My dad has been out of work for about a month.

Before that, he worked for his company for 22 years. Is that right?

I'm sure it's not and I got the number wrong. And I'm sure he'll reply to this post to confirm or correct it later.

Anyhow, this has been a turning point in his life. A good one. A hard one.

Some people say parents live vicariously through their children, whether it be a sports activity, an educational achievement, or a competitive goal of some kind.

And come to think of it, I have seen a lot of that. I hope I never do it, as a parent myself, because I want my child, and future children, to have and find their own ambitions and passions. And even if they mimic my interests, that they truly desire to seek them from their own heart, not as a payback for any of my losses.

I guess sometimes it's OK to do it though - in some circumstances - not over-dramatized, or for the wrong reasons.

I will be thrilled if Levi is a sports or fitness junkie.

Having said that, I think I'm actually doing "what people say" backwards.

My dad is in the epitome of his niche.

And because he has been forced to take a very loooong vacation, he is doing all the things he loves and more.

He is writing - books, blogs, newsletters. He is creating Facebook pages and Twitter accounts to promote himself. He is making a moniker for his deep-rooted calling.

He is going to meetings, and meeting people.

He is becoming more in tune with his soul.

He is seeking the Lord day and night.

He is helping people  - he went to "work out" with a paralyzed friend of his the other day.

I gotta say, when I heard that, I covered my mouth with my hand and died from laughter.

Not because he was helping someone. And not necessarily because he was even working out. But picturing him in the middle of the day doing arm exercises with another person when he normally would be at a desk, just CRACKS ME UP.

He asked me for the recipe to my Tortilla Soup the other day.

Planning on making that, dad? 

He has time to do things. To play. To think. To hear.

What can I say? I'm jealous.

He is doing exactly what I want to be doing, at some point in my future: from gaining business ground in social media to house projects.

Who says not working is a bad thing?