Carrie and I have morning chats on my drive into work during the week days. Sometimes we use them as venting sessions (lol) and sometimes we just talk about struggles and our relationships with God.
The other morning when we talked, she said a few days back that she was talking to one of the doctors at the hospital (which she often does in her job as a nurse) - and that he always talks about God in their conversations. And she said he was talking about being with Christ. That we should work to be in tune with Him always. Constantly meditating and praying and being aware of Him in our lives.
I agree.
But when she said this, a light bulb clicked in my mind.
Yes, we need to be with Christ. And talk to Him and meditate on His word etc.
But what if there was another kind of "being" with Him? A state of which our physical decision-making processes represented another way to "be" with Him.
Some people struggle with drugs like cocaine, with alcohol abuse, porn and sexual addictions, or perhaps shopping, coffee, BLOGGING, or Facebook. There is more than one one "drug" out there, if you know what I mean.
As my mother-in-law said yesterday morning when we woke to start the day "coffee is our drug of choice!"
What does it mean to be with Christ?
Should we...mentally be with him? Emotionally? Spiritually? YES!
But how about in the physical realm?
My mom doesn't drink wine. Not because she gets drunk when she does, but because she doesn't want anything to hinder her relationship with Christ.
This, and she, is a great example of a walking, living, and breathing Christ-life dedication.
I read a book a few years ago called "The Discipline of Grace" and what it taught me was that I needed to physically remove certain things from my life in order to allow God's grace in.
How can I receive it when gunk is in the way that shouldn't be there?
Choosing to physically remove things that were not good for me turned out to be a blessing. And I felt like I was physically giving myself to Him, as I should have been all along.
I began, one after the other, to shut off, close, remove, and unlock the chains to several things that were standing in the way of living a free and open relationship with my Father.
My mind, heart and spirit had been with Him. Emotionally, I could feel Him. Spiritually, I knew He was there, for I was crying out to Him every day.
But physically, my life was gunky. Polluted. And in turn, it was messing with all the other realms of my relationship with Him and those I loved.
As that light bulb went off the other day, it reminded me again of that time in my life when I exposed my vulberabilities and failures and found Truth.
It reminded me that just because I did it once, does not mean I don't have it to it again.
I must die daily.
I want to be with Him in everything that I am. Not just spiritually in prayer and devotion, but in my outward appearance, actions, choices, through my lips, my ears, and eyes, and as a filter of good things into my home.
It's a daily decision and a daily cry for guidance, and even though I struggle do it I know He is with me.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Friday, July 13, 2012
Why I Love July and More...
Every now and then the Lord gives me a night with Levi that is full of peace and perfection.
I have been battling with him for a few days now to EAT HIS STINKIN' MEALS as mommy ordained them. And in his high chair, without whining.
We are starting to move from jarred food to real food that I cook or prepare.
Needless to say, I "didn't feel like dealing with it tonight" (it's Friday darnit and I want to go home and enjoy my night!) so I stopped at Giant and picked up a jar of sweet potatoes and turkey.
I thought he would be happy he didn't have to pick up anything with his fingers and just be spoon fed like he's used to, but yet, he still battled me pushing the spoon away from his mouth as it slopped all over himself.
Thank goodness it was bath night.
After a few of mommy's best tricks I finally got him to eat. THE WHOLE JAR. I had started with cut-up kiwi on his tray, which he promptly denied, and after my tricks pursued, and worked, he devoured the sweet potatoes and kiwi as well.
Ah, sweet peace from the silence of an eating boy.
After his bath and a little play he let me rock him to sleep, holding him like a baby - though that he is - with a handmade quilt over him, that was crafted in love by one of the sweetest souls I know. The moment echoed joy.
As I sat there cradling my quilted baby, rocking him back and forth on this Friday night in the dark, with only a glimmer of the night lights across the way looking in, I thought about all the memories instilled in our home. In that room. Ones that we made, and throughout our house, within our walls.
And I said some prayers - praising Him for the comfort He has bestowed, the blessings He has given, and the memories we have made here. For our lives.
It was...peace and perfection.
I thought about never being able to look out that window in my rocking chair again - at the lights outside across the way. And never being able to hear the OP High School band playing on Friday nights.
Oh...we're moving.
As annoyed as I am by the trains that constantly pass through our "backyard" and the dogs barking in the lot below, and the trash dump making banging noises, this is our home. And that room will always be Levi's first.
It's where we slept. And didn't sleep. It's where we play all day. Where he learned to sit and crawl and stand, and roll over.
I miss it already.
But, bright days are ahead also.
Our house on Windsor will have yards, a garage, a patio (with grilling out opportunities), a bigger play area for Levi.
But though it will have all that, it is older. And I feel (not Isaac), it is a little smaller.
I'm ok with it though. We give a little, we get a little.
One of the main reasons I wrote a post tonight was to tell you why July is my favorite month, like I promised.
I know you all were on the edge of your seats.
It's really nothing extraordinary to tell, other than these reasons:
Isaac's birthday
Our Wedding Anniversary
Fourth of July - my favorite holiday
Dead of summer, dead of year
Silence and peace and quiet and slow
Something about July rings peace, relaxation, and joy to me.
And I love wearing tank tops on the brink of a sweat.
Three of my favorite holidays are in this month. There's a lot to celebrate. And they all mean a lot.
For some reason, also, I can't find many recognizable events happening in July (other than the Fourth) or crazy significant markings.
And that's what I love about it.
It seems like it's just a month dedicated to slowing down, regrouping, breathing, doing nothing. And celebrating America on top of it.
Here are a few shots of our Fourth this year. PS - I think I may have caught one firework out of the corner of my eye while I was rocking Levi to sleep at 9'o clock in my sister's living room.
I have been battling with him for a few days now to EAT HIS STINKIN' MEALS as mommy ordained them. And in his high chair, without whining.
We are starting to move from jarred food to real food that I cook or prepare.
Needless to say, I "didn't feel like dealing with it tonight" (it's Friday darnit and I want to go home and enjoy my night!) so I stopped at Giant and picked up a jar of sweet potatoes and turkey.
I thought he would be happy he didn't have to pick up anything with his fingers and just be spoon fed like he's used to, but yet, he still battled me pushing the spoon away from his mouth as it slopped all over himself.
Thank goodness it was bath night.
After a few of mommy's best tricks I finally got him to eat. THE WHOLE JAR. I had started with cut-up kiwi on his tray, which he promptly denied, and after my tricks pursued, and worked, he devoured the sweet potatoes and kiwi as well.
Ah, sweet peace from the silence of an eating boy.
After his bath and a little play he let me rock him to sleep, holding him like a baby - though that he is - with a handmade quilt over him, that was crafted in love by one of the sweetest souls I know. The moment echoed joy.
As I sat there cradling my quilted baby, rocking him back and forth on this Friday night in the dark, with only a glimmer of the night lights across the way looking in, I thought about all the memories instilled in our home. In that room. Ones that we made, and throughout our house, within our walls.
And I said some prayers - praising Him for the comfort He has bestowed, the blessings He has given, and the memories we have made here. For our lives.
It was...peace and perfection.
I thought about never being able to look out that window in my rocking chair again - at the lights outside across the way. And never being able to hear the OP High School band playing on Friday nights.
Oh...we're moving.
As annoyed as I am by the trains that constantly pass through our "backyard" and the dogs barking in the lot below, and the trash dump making banging noises, this is our home. And that room will always be Levi's first.
It's where we slept. And didn't sleep. It's where we play all day. Where he learned to sit and crawl and stand, and roll over.
I miss it already.
But, bright days are ahead also.
Our house on Windsor will have yards, a garage, a patio (with grilling out opportunities), a bigger play area for Levi.
But though it will have all that, it is older. And I feel (not Isaac), it is a little smaller.
I'm ok with it though. We give a little, we get a little.
One of the main reasons I wrote a post tonight was to tell you why July is my favorite month, like I promised.
I know you all were on the edge of your seats.
It's really nothing extraordinary to tell, other than these reasons:
Isaac's birthday
Our Wedding Anniversary
Fourth of July - my favorite holiday
Dead of summer, dead of year
Silence and peace and quiet and slow
Something about July rings peace, relaxation, and joy to me.
And I love wearing tank tops on the brink of a sweat.
Three of my favorite holidays are in this month. There's a lot to celebrate. And they all mean a lot.
For some reason, also, I can't find many recognizable events happening in July (other than the Fourth) or crazy significant markings.
And that's what I love about it.
It seems like it's just a month dedicated to slowing down, regrouping, breathing, doing nothing. And celebrating America on top of it.
Here are a few shots of our Fourth this year. PS - I think I may have caught one firework out of the corner of my eye while I was rocking Levi to sleep at 9'o clock in my sister's living room.
Since Isaac's beat is right near my sister's house, he always stops in for a plate when we eat over there. (I love it how Levi always puts his finger in his mouth).
Monday, July 2, 2012
Entering His 30s...I present to you, Isaac Gresham.
I met Isaac when he was 17. He used to pick me up for high school in his little white integra and carry my cheerleading box to football games.
We met in art class when he said he liked my painting. I thought it was really ugly.
Yesterday, he turned 30, like a lot of people have done. But it felt strange to me than someone else turning 30 because he's mine. He's my family. I carried his bloodline. And it's a reality for me that we are getting older and my time is coming soon.
Yes, doom is upon me.
As we ventured out to DC to our French hotel (they said "Bonjour" and called me "Madame!") I was ready for an evening past midnight, AT LEAST.
It did not happen.
We were in bed by 11:30.
As we sat there at Le Bar in the Sofitel DC sipping our cocktails, we both felt naseous, parched, and tired.
It appeared dinner and the play alone wore us out. We are getting old. Dang.
In spite of our party poopedness, we did have a great time...here are a few pics to highlight our much anticipated night out.
I love July - it is my favorite month of the year. And I'll tell you why in my next post. Here's to a great Fourth, celebrating America's independence!
We met in art class when he said he liked my painting. I thought it was really ugly.
Yesterday, he turned 30, like a lot of people have done. But it felt strange to me than someone else turning 30 because he's mine. He's my family. I carried his bloodline. And it's a reality for me that we are getting older and my time is coming soon.
Yes, doom is upon me.
As we ventured out to DC to our French hotel (they said "Bonjour" and called me "Madame!") I was ready for an evening past midnight, AT LEAST.
It did not happen.
We were in bed by 11:30.
As we sat there at Le Bar in the Sofitel DC sipping our cocktails, we both felt naseous, parched, and tired.
It appeared dinner and the play alone wore us out. We are getting old. Dang.
In spite of our party poopedness, we did have a great time...here are a few pics to highlight our much anticipated night out.
Getting ready. We made it just in the nick of time. Had to backtrack from Woodbridge and take 66 because 95 was a bottleneck, AS USUAL. We made it just in the nick of time to get dressed and prance down 16th Street to the St. Regis hotel, just blocks from the White House.
Adour at the St. Regis.
I think he liked the restaurant just a little bit. Although I did make him take this pic.
Pondering D.C.
I was adoring our French complimentary desserts. The plated assortment reminded me of the treats Carrie would eat in Paris on "Sex and the City." The only thing missing were our cigarettes...LOL.
Headed to see "The Home of the Solider."
Complimentary smoothies at the Bistro.
French Press Coffee....YUM.
Complimentary croissants and baguettes.
Birthday boy.
YES IT IS.
Later on Sunday I went to visit Carrie.
And Aunt Lori and my cousins from Ohio were there.
Haven't seen them since they were wee little!
I love July - it is my favorite month of the year. And I'll tell you why in my next post. Here's to a great Fourth, celebrating America's independence!
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