Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Bless Him and Keep Him

Why is it that we get the biggest zits in the most horrific places right before we have to attend a big event where all our friends and family will be and lots of picture-taking will occur? Is there some little fairy zitpimple guy inside our faces that says, "Oh, hello, I see you have a big party on Wednesday, I am just going to crawl on to top of your skin and sit there until it's over..." THANKS!

Anyway, tomorrow is Isaac's official graduation. He said he was getting his gun today. I assume that I will hear all about it tonight when I get home. Can you imagine how proud he must be? Protecting the law and having the authority to do it, especially with a gun, is some serious business.

His life is changing forever tomorrow. His career will now be a 24-7 lifestyle with an always cautious, careful, and protecting mindset. He will grow into a habit of maintaining a watchful eye and always be weary of suspicious behavior. His mind, spirit, and body will be on guard constantly. It makes me feel safe, yet also scared for his life. I know there will be days that he will come home from cases dealing with murder, suicide, child abuse, car accidents, gangs, drugs, and much more. And that is not easy to swallow, for someone with a compassionate heart as his.

He will be brave, though. I know it. He will "never give up" as he told me last night at the dinner table. That's the one thing that stuck out the most to him, he said, that he learned during his 6 months in training. Never give up.

So today, I ask you to join with me in prayer for him as he takes on yet another new daunting challenge in life, and ask that God impart the wisdom and knowledge to make good and smart choices and protect him from evil and danger.

Lord - make him brave, make him strong, and always, always bless him during each and every call he receives.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Simple Living: A Dream to Be

There are moments at work when I get extremely bored. Because all my projects are quick turnarounds with finite objectives there are a lot of breaks filled with nothing but waiting for someone else to do something before I can. It's actually rather nice and a complete 180 from my last job. This industry (the tradeshow industry) operates in seasons, too, where the fall and spring are the busiest times of year, but the summer and winter are not. So, during those months of particular season we are not very busy. Again, very nice to have the downtime.

Having downtime gives me a lot of time to think, search the internet, think, write, search the internet, write, study, and search the internet. I know I am going to totally miss having these downtime moments when busy season picks back up! It's great having my own office, too, because I can just shut the door and read a book if I'm not doing anything (isn't that horrible?). I don't do it too often because I don't want to look stand-offish or uninterested.

Isaac and I went grocery shopping yesterday and spent more than we wanted to. We spent the kind of amount that is covered with a cough when said. It was really rather ridiculous. I distinctly remember Isaac saying to me as the granola bars were being scanned, "These granola bars are $4 hun!! $4!!!!!."

"It was a larger pack," I explained. "That's why there are $4."

Unforunately, he just doesn't come to the store with me enough to realize that that's what stuff costs these days. Things really aren't cheap anymore. He says he hates going to the store, but when he's there with me he's like a little kid looking up and down the aisles in awe thinking we need stuff we do not need! Needless to say, we spent an extra $40 on bathroom amenities. I do have to say that he brings a sense of spontaneity to the relationship, though, and does things that I normally wouldn't do. But they're always good things...things that I wouldn't do in an effort to save money or time. (For example, we've been using a towel as a shower bathmat for at least 6 months because I did not want to spend the money on one.) Thanks to Isaac, we now have a nice, new, real bathmat.

After stocking our fridge up with all the food we bought I sort of felt guilty. How many children have nothing to eat? Did I really need to buy two hunks of colby cheese? We throw away and waste more food today than I can remember. It is hard cooking for just two people, though. I mean we are a food society, aren't we? We center our lives around it and we don't even need half the junk we eat, or buy.

I have a friend from college whose blog I read from time to time and her way of living is the complete opposite of mine. She has two kids, lives in Arkansas, is a stay-at-home and work-at-home mother, line dries her clothes, gardens constantly, and cooks almost every night. I want to learn from her simplicity.

Incase you're interested, her website is: www.mamaseasons.com.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Exciting Times Ahead

If you haven't guessed it by now, and you read this blog, it's pretty clear that I love summer. I love fall, too, but there's just something about summer that I love so much and that makes my soul tingle. It's so wonderful. My favorite holiday is the 4th of July. I love Christmas, too, but the 4th has always been somewhat of a special holiday in my heart. It's just powerful...the fireworks, the heat, the fact that it represents a day to celebrate America. It makes me feel patriotic and proud, all the while basking in the heat of the summer sun. Something about it is just so glorious. And throw a couple of cookouts with kids running around getting their socks dirty and scraping up their knees in the mix and it just makes for the perfect all-American family dream. A dream that I am very much in love with.

This time of year is also Isaac's birthday - July 1st. And it just so happens that on this same day he will begin his first day of work as an official Police Officer. Coincidentally, it is also the first day that the Prince William County Police Force came into being. How ironic. July is also the month of our wedding anniversary. So, as you can imagine, this month, and summer in general, usually is an eventful and exciting time for us. And this summer, in particular, is especially joyful.

Next week all of the family will be here to attend Isaac's graduation and celebrate his birthday with us. We are so blessed to have family - some that live close and some that live far away - who are excited to take part in these exciting times. His dad, who lives in Florida, will be here. And his mom, who lives in California, will also be coming over. His grandma and her husband will be here as well. This week will be pretty busy and jam-packed with lots of get togethers.

We also have a wedding to go to in July, as well as a wedding reception (the couple already had a small wedding in Barbardos) in August. One of my college friends is coming in to town in July, as well, so it'll be good to see her and her husband. And also in August we're planning a vacation. Not sure where we'll be going yet, but it's great to have something to look forward to. It seems like we always plan our vacations in August so we can have the whole summer to think about it. It's kind of nice.

I am just beside myself this summer. It just seems like God's blessings of amazing family, amazing friends, and special events to partake in are shining through, which are bringing me to a place of great peace.

PS - I'm making chicken parmesean for dinner tonight with a splash of white wine.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Summer in my Heart

Summertime reminds me of...

Fireflies.
No ties.
Sunglassed eyes.
And out of office replies.

Blue skies.
Bare thighs.
Dad's homeade fries.
And hot July's.

Coke.
The tireswing rope.
Hot dogs, smoked.
And family jokes.

Our first kiss at fifteen.
You, in your best dressed greens.
Our wedding at Dunn Loring.
Sunscreen.

Green grass.
The last day of class.
A frosted beer glass.
A pool pass.

Summertime is.
Summertime was.
Summertime will always be.

Between you and me,
It's a time to run free.
Be who you want to be.
Climb your favorite trees.
Drink a cup of midnight tea.
Or coffee.

Running wild...
I don't know if anybody stays mild...

During the amazing
Blazing
Dazing
Summer days.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Perfection

Dogs wagging their tails back and forth;
Feet propped up in the deck chair on the back porch.

No bugs no noise; no sounds just summer joys.

Restful eyes and peaceful hearts;
Full tummies swooshing around strawberry trifle tart.

No pressure no stress; no chores just barefoot toes to caress.

Fam tucked inside in the cool AC;
Looking at photos and watching TV.

No homework no shoes; nothing serious just minds to amuse.

The trampoline behind me where so many have played;
Neighbors enjoying the same summer day.

No words no motion; no chatter just naps without commotion.

Skinny tanks and sunkissed skin;
White wicker making imprints down our tired limbs.

Wishful minds wishing for more time.
Dreaming of more lazy days covered with crazy summer haze.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

I am who I am

For some reason when we get together with friends I always compare myself to them: what kind of cars, jobs, houses, clothes they have vs. me. I try not to, but it just happens without awareness. I think this is normal, to some extent. I mean we all compare ourselves to other people. It's what makes us human. It's what helps us realize that we are not perfect, or for some of us, makes us strive to meet perfection.

I don't know why I always do this. I have a bad habit of wishing for things I don't have and when I see someone with a nicer house or a nicer car or better hair I immediately start plotting ways to get them too. For years and years I wished I had picked a different degree in college. I don't even know how I was supposed to know what I wanted to do at the age of 20. Who does? And I can't help but wish we hadn't bought a house so soon, either. If we'd waited another couple of years we could have had a townhouse, or even a house, for the price of what we paid for our condo.

And then there's the matter of pigment. A little bit of pigment would have been nice to have instead of needing to lather on 9 pounds of loreal sublime lotion each night for a splotchy after-glow. Could I have at least been spared that? I blame Dad for the white-ness in this family. Or, how about the income? Some of my friends are making twice as much as me. They've nearly cleared out their student loan bills and are now trading those payments for remodeled homes and baby rooms.

My attitude has, over the past decade, been like this...pining for more and pondering and wondering what if, and why, and how come. And in the midst of this feeling-sorry-for-myself mindset I believe I've missed out on one, very important thing: I am who I am.

It literally dawned on me last Saturday like a light bulb turning on in the closet that the problem was me. And it felt so good to realize that it was. This was no revelation of my own, though. I believe that God divinely showed me this to help me. Isn't it truly amazing how when God shows you something you can actually get through it, but apart from Him it is the hardest thing in the world to overcome?

I have pondered for years why I could not accept myself the way I am. But, this is who He made me. This how He made me. I have thick legs and thin hair for a reason (no seriously). I have student loans because I went to a college (that wasn't exactly cheap, but I went). But so does the other 1/2 of society. I am upside down in my mortgage because I was part of the millions of other people who bought a house during the same time period as me, not expecting the market to crash. I don't make a fortune in salary working in some highrise building in the city because God has blessed me with the ability to enjoy working close to home and having a short commute right now. And he knew I needed it.

I guarantee you the people that we envy are envying us just the same. Those people who are making a fortune probably wish they had a closer commute and time to sleep. Those people who have a yard to mow and grass to water probably often wish they didn't. And the folks who have curly, bushy, hair always wanted it straight.

The grass isn't always greener. And, we are who we are. Let us revel and rejoice in God's glory for making us exactly how He wants us, and keeping us in His care for all eternity.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Life

The sound of a $10 Wal-mart fan blowing in my office...
An empty lipstick-stained Starbucks coffee cup next to my keyboard.

The Holy Bible, battered and used, embedded with Army camoflauge resting powerfully by my elbow...
Software, of all kinds, parading my machine.

Is it 5?
Soon shall it be.
Another hour.
Closer to 3.

My vision's blurred
Without the lens
Folders neatly stacked
Next to black and red pens

Remains of a pb&j sitting in the trash behind me...
Ugly gray cubicles wilting across the hall outside my door.

Three staggered photos taking up space on this wood-grained desk...
Life.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

An Ode to the Mini-Grad

Tis' the season to recognize the mark of achievements in those completing major milestones in their lives. It is a season for some of great sadness and loss. The loss of the elementary, middle, and high school experiences that will be no more. The loss of best friends, locker combinations, cheerleading squads, and spontaneous midnight sleepovers. For some it will be a matter of entering into the next phase of school with a gain of new best friends, new locker combinations, and new people to get to know on your new team. Entering into these new tiers and chapters of school lie just around the corner for some. For others, the end to graduating will lead to new jobs (a completely different arena of life) with a loss of leaning on mom and dad for financial support or a roof over the head. And then there are others like Nursing Programs, Law School, and even Police Academy graduations like my husband will be a part of where the reward brings further definition. They all signify closure of books in history with new volumes to come.

Tonight, at 7pm, my little niece Mariah is graduating from 5th grade at Montclair Elementary school. Actually, she's not little anymore. She will be 11 this fall. 11! I remember the very first time I saw her in the hospital room. My sister had just finished screaming her lungs out and the little munchkin was presented to us at 21" long, looking just like a Chinese cricket (if I ever saw one!).

I was so proud to be an aunt that day, and I still am.

The years that followed would be full of memory-making. From watching her trapse around the house in on our high heeled shoes to Kindergarten graduation she has been a life that has touched all of us. I remember babysitting her one night in her first home, the townhouse, where Anna lived with Liz. Isaac and I felt like parents living in a "real" house. We made dinner, watched some tube, and I'm sure spent a majority of the night trying to get her to stop crying. She was little enough to fit in a wind-up swing. And some of the fondest memories I'll ever know were spending nearly every night of summer before leaving for college over at my Anna's house in Summerland Heights apartments. Carrie worked at Olive Garden, I worked at Uno's, and Anna still worked at one of her (million) theatres. Our lives collided in such a way that summer that we were together almost every night. Carrie and I traditionally worked the night shifts and we would mosey our way on up to "The Bridge" (Woodbridge) for one evening after the other of fun. A quick trip to Shoppers to pick up Toquitos would always be in store followed by a night of cozied-in sitcom watching. We'd repeat the cycle as often as possible. Anna would make her and Mariah dinner while Carrie and I smushed her and cuddled her til' she was blue in the face.

But then those moments ended and I went off to college. Carrie had much more time over the next years to spend with Mariah than I because I was gone. I have always been a bit jealous of that and longed to be a part of the memory making of those years. I know they are fond of them. My memories are fewer, but still fond.

But today, as we have all seen her grow over the years, she will be walking the plank (hahaha) to graduate from her little elementary school nestled in a forest of "The Bridge" on a dead end road that she was driven down passed quaint houses on many a morning and afternoon. From booties to Chuck Taylors she has grown into quite a unique little girl. Her chipped nail polish, plastic bracelets, and continuous runny nose remind me of how innocent childhood is and how easily we take it for granted. Once a sticky-faced toddler running up and down the plastic playground in grandma's field across the street she is now a beautiful young lady with the world at her feet.

Hats off to Mariah, my niece, my love.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Learned Facts

This week has pretty much been about studying for me, and for Isaac getting his last stressful week of work done before he coasts into graduation. Though it's only Monday I pretty much always know how the week is going to go. A little wrapping up the chapter I'm on by Monday, a little SYTYCD on Tuesday and Wednesday, and diving into the next chapter later in the week. My chapters are getting longer. It sucks.

Isaac will be working at night this week a lot. He has to train sometimes when it's dark out to get the feel of the real world night application, I guess. He said he has a DUI test tomorrow. I know he stresses and worries, but each time he gets like a 90, so I don't ever doubt he'll sail through.

A couple of quick facts I've learned from my readings:

Food is digested as one of three things: carbohydrates, fatty acids, and protein. The more fatty foods you eat the more they will be stored AS fat in your body for energy later. Hence, the more you weight gain by eating fatty foods.

The more calories you burn, the more fat calories you burn, and the more weight you lose.

Lower intensity exercise burns a high percentage of fat calories, but higher intensity exercise burns more calories, thus a higher precentage of fat calories. The more fat calories that are burned the more weight you lose. Thus, higher intensity exercise is better for trying to lose weight.

There are four muscles that make up the rotator cuff.

The lat pull exercise works the lattisimus dorsi muscle, which is located in the upper side of the back.

The aorta is located in the middle of the body and is the largest artery in the human anatomy.

Arteries that often get clogged are those that are not very elastic.

Bones that form the fingers and toes are called phalanges.

Exercises using a chair without armrests result in great potential for stability and balance growth.

--THE END--

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Fifteen

I wasn't a big fan of Taylor Swift until I heard one of her songs on the local country station the other day that I'd never heard before. It suddenly made me have a change of heart. It moved me. And then I bought her CD "Fearless."

I've been listening to the local country station a lot lately. Truthfully, I've been getting weary of the same old songs on the Christian stations, which have been on repeat ever since I first tuned in---which was a-LONG-time ago. So occasionally I've been flippin' on country music for a little fun and flair. I find it refreshing, pure, and down-to-earth and it allows me to indulge in something that leaves me less guiltless than if I were to go all out with the local pop station. Believe-you-me I do have some current #1 hits that I like to jam to on my ipod to work out to. I gotta say, they're the best remedy for a good exercise, but I find they become a bit soul-corrupting when they're all you feed your brain. I guess any lyric can do that, but country just gives me a taste of real-world life and allows me to relate to it's chords and be myself. It makes me feel at ease without feeling like I'm compromising who I am.

So, below is an example of one of her songs that makes me feel just that. It is not the original song that possessed me to buy her CD, but another one that I fell in love with along the way. If I only could think these simple lyrics up then I too would be a millionare.

(PS - the thing different about her story and mine is that I DID marry my highschool sweetheart who I met when I was 15...)

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It's the morning of your very first day
And you say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody's way

It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here
For the next four years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
"You know, I haven't seen you around before"

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out
Well, count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be
Fifteen

You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail
And soon enough you're best friends
Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool
We'll be outta here as soon as we can

And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car
And you're feeling like flying
And you're momma's waiting up and you're thinking he's the one
And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends
When the night ends

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss
Makes your head spin 'round
But in your life you'll do things greater than
Dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
Who changed his mind and we both cried

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

Your very first day
Take a deep breath girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors