Baking and Blogging and Being.

I really miss baking and cooking. I started back this week picking out recipes to make so we can have actual meals. But I feel kind of silly making whole meals for just Levi and I on nights that Isaac works. It's not that I can't save him a plate, but so much of it goes to waste and doesn't get eaten the next day. And since I've been going light at night myself, it seems like a wasted effort. So I always try to focus on cooking bigger meals on his days off.

I really, really like cooking and baking, and mainly trying new recipes. There are a plethora of recipes and different websites out there to use. So many that I will never be able to get to, yet so many that I would like to try. It is fun picking out new ones each week! I used to dread it, as I mentioned in a previous post, but now I enjoy it. :)

While in school, it's been more challenging to find the time to search for recipes and cook meals every night, so I slowed down with it for a while. But I'm eager to get back to it.

I love cooking meals in the evenings with Levi at my side in his high chair. He eats little bits of what I make as I'm cooking, or becomes my taste tester when I'm done. And we play and have a good time.

Since the preparation and aftermath of classes and teaching have consumed so much of my evening and morning free time, I've missed these things. Especially blogging about our adventures, outings, and house projects.

I am looking forward to getting back to it. To enjoying our little world. Living. And especially now that summer is on the horizon, I see lots of swingset filled summer nights in our future with chilled wine on the back patio.

My dreams are starting to become a reality. Student teaching at my old high school was one of the strangest, yet thrilling experiences I've been through. And the fact that I'm actually preparing to be a Health and PE Teacher is weird. I've only tasted it, never swimmed in it. It's awesome.

Sometimes, trying to live your dream is more of a challenge than you think. And some of my dreams already are a reality. Like having our sweet son Levi light up our world with his innocent cheeks, cheap rent in the heart of Old Town, a fresh cut lawn and a seasonal flag blowing in the spring wind. Neighbors we can talk to and experience life with.

All these and more are what I'm yearning for. Time spent with my two most precious loves. Drives to the country. And the smell of grilled chicken coming from the garage with the sunroom window open.

As I have what I hope will be a few short months of school left, I feel like it's almost closing time. And I can't wait to live more fully alive again!

I'm BEHIND in social media.

It ocurred to me this morning as I was reading an article on "How to Use Spotify" that I am extremely behind in Social Media. And the sad part is, I never thought I would say that. But I guess that's what happens when you get older.

As I was reading the article, it was talking about how if you have the upgraded, premium package, you will be able to access all your playlists on the Cloud. But if you don't, then you can't access your playlists. It was talking about a family Cloud and how they "haven't come up with that yet, so that everyone in the family can access the same playlists" etc. I became confused and overwhelmed, and so I "x'ed" out of the box quickly and never returned.

I was just looking for a SIMPLE tool people to find some good music with the bpm's I need to make workouts and create a playlist that allows me to utilize time sequencing in between songs.

Is that too much to ask for?

Why do I have to have a Cloud? And what exactly IS the Cloud? (And frankly, I don't want anyone to answer that.) Is it best to sync all my information in one place? Easier?

I feel like technology has taken off so fast and gone so far that I am past the point of return.

My family used to turn to me for technology advice and now I'm turning to them!

The "older generation" is finding their way again in technology, and here I am losing it.

Losing my MIND.

The problem: I'm certain I have songs on my iTunes account and Isaac's iTunes account. I don't know where they all went. And I am bothered by the fact that I don't know if I have to use my computer or his to get to the account anymore. And what happens if I want to start over and create a whole new one? For some reason, I feel like the Apple technology gods will not allow it.

I have two iPods (one for running and one that, well, Levi has taken over), an iPhone, a computer, and this ever looming Cloud that I think I'm supposed to learn somehow to make all of this connect and work right.

I'm out of touch and confused.

I tried Twitter for a few weeks. It was OK, but I can't get into - much less figure out - all that darn hashtag [#] usage. What are they really for anyway?

And Instagram? Forget it all together.

Everything seems to be made these days to "make things easier." Is that not the point of all of this craziness?

But in actuality, I'm more confused than ever.

I need simplicity. A few apps with what I need, one place to find everything, and no NEW and BETTER stuff that I have to upgrade or sync to.

Is that too much to ask?!?!

Where Have I Been?

It has been a long while since I've posted on this blog. Or posted anything.

February 6 to be exact.

I had been posting on my new blog for a while and then when school hit I didn't have the time or the energy to keep it up. I still haven't finished school yet. I'll be done around June 15th (the last two classes are weather makeup and administrative, so I'm not counting those! :)).

This morning I had a yearning to post on Cross-ward. To go back to where my blogging journey started and update you on where I'm at. And while I do like my new blog, For Fitness Love, I miss Cross-ward and it's coziness, domesticated, homey feel, where my true heart comes out.

I also had a yearning this morning to write, because I haven't done it in a while. I've been so consumed with lesson plans and article reading, and going to class that I've terribly missed this blog.

Before school started, I was immersed in all things fitness by way of finding new blogs to read, creating routines, trying new foods, and learning about nutrition. All things health. I was trying to jumpstart a fitness blog, and create a sort-of mini online-business for myself if you will. Not necessarily to generate revenue, but to promote my passion.

When school started, that mini online-business promoting went idle and I jumped into the teaching world. Looking back, I probably should have waited to start it until school was over so that I could focus on one thing at a time, but you know me!

So, here it is mid-April, more than halfway through school (thank God!), and I'm nearly complete with my Practicum. I have one more class on Friday and then I'm DONE!!

But one of the things that got me excited to write today was that I already sense the completion of it, and I'm feeling a little renewed. There's something to be said when you finish a big project, or are coming out on the tail end of an intense week of training and working. That's how I feel today. A BIG SIGH OF RELIEF.

I feel refreshed to be back in a routine, to be working normal hours, to be able to exercise during lunch and play volleyball with friends again. To be able to relax a bit more at home. Spring is on it's way, NY is on the horizon, and I'm feeling sunny and enthused.

I'm looking toward the future now.

But here's a look at the past...

I'm saying this because I don't know any different, but these past two weeks were the most intense points of school for me. Juggling teaching and lesson plans amidst my current job, going to class, caring for Levi, and working with mom's schedule to babysit has been crazy. I truly let the house go some nights, which  is really hard for me to do, and had to leave sticky counters and dirty dishes in the sink.

School had been a pretty easygoing up until two weeks ago. Assignments have been paced well and doing homework has been pretty routine. Since Levi sleeps until about 7 or so, I get up at 5:45 or 6 and study. The world is a different place at 6am!

When I got my assignment at Osbourn and found out it was with Mr. Howell I couldn't even believe it. The "OHS Staff" car tag hanging from my mirror is a reminder of how thankful I am for this opportunity, not only to be interning at Osbourn right around the corner from my house, but to be in school in general. To be doing what I've always wanted to do and having been given an avenue to do it.

(I also have an OHS Staff ID - 1/2 off pizza anyone?)

I started my practicum the week after Spring Break with 9th Grade Health, 10th Grade PE, Basketball, and Weight Training Classes looming over my head. And let me just say, everyone thinks that PE is sooooo easy, but there is an aspect that most don't think about, and that is classroom management on a much larger level. It is really tough taming a lot of kids in large spaces with multiple things happening at once.

Osbourn has changed.

The population is now nearly 50% Hispanic. And the majority of kids in the class have names that I can't even pronounce. Adherence, attitude, and discipline seem to have subsided substantially in this region. It was a c-h-a-l-l-e-n-g-e. And while I was trying to convince myself not to give a 100 for participation to a student who can barely read or write because he didn't do the assignment right (and trying to block out the fact that he was not on level 4 reading, so why was he in my class again?) I was imaging my other colleagues at Shenandoah in these picture-perfect settings out west in schools like Farmwell Station MS and John Champe HS where I envision [more] country living, spacious places, and well-behaved kids.

Perhaps it was all in my head that these kids at Osbourn were more misbehaved than others. But in talking with other teachers I sensed that a lot them have a struggling home life with not much support or parental guidance.

My visions of Winchester and Leesburg perfection clouded my brain as I sat there and tried to make sense of the things I saw. Was Harlem worse? Just kidding. It wasn't that bad, but I surely felt like I was having a dose of "The Projects."

In some ways I feel even more blessed that God placed me in that space to work with those kids. In a perhaps more needy area of Manass-ites. I wonder if I have just been stretched to a new depth and given a more diversely challenged setting so that I will be more equipped to handle what is to come? Only time will tell.

Also, I never knew I had a crackly voice when I yelled, or that my vocal chords were weak. Hello whistle and hand-made megaphone! If I learned one thing these past two weeks it was to blow that whistle hard and "use my gym voice!"

I am looking forward to spring, and to finishing up school and seeing what the next stage brings. I'm also getting excited about Isaac and I's 10 year anniversary where we'll be going to NYC for a weekend to celebrate. AND for a glass of wine, a BIG bowl of popcorn, and SATC on my last night of class. I told you I am not giving in on the popcorn until school is over!

PS - I don't normally talk about my weight other than to family, but I wanted to share that throughout this schooling journey (and several months before), I've been working on losing. It all started, gosh probably late last summer, when I really wanted to focus on it. It has been a majorly slow process for me because I wanted to do it right and not deprive or starve myself. So I've been slowly making changes while keeping it real at the same time. I'm really happy to say that I am about 19lbs (I'm giving myself 1 pound because I went up 1 from yesterday!) less than my pre-pregnancy weight (which is less than what I was in most of my college years!).

I hate talking about "weight" because I always feel like I jinks myself and then I gain it back. I know that's silly and I shouldn't think that way, so I'm taking a risk by telling you in hopes that it will be for the positive, and maybe influence you to start your own journey! I feel so good, physically and mentally, right now, and I certainly don't want to hold back my enthusiasm for others, and I don't want it to end. :)

Thanks for all of your support and hopefully I'll write more again before too long...