I don't want to be a fairweather American Patriot.

I'm not a very political person. I don't follow every nook and cranny of political statistics or try to pretend that I have a clue about the ins and outs of each party.

I don't. I never have and I probably never will. 1.) because I'm too impatient to sit and read about all of it, and 2.) because I'm not savvy in that way. I tend to think of myself as simply, logical: and this is how I base most of my decision-making.

I don't normally write about politics, either. 1.) because I don't debate very well, and 2.) because I don't want to come across as judgemental.

But there comes certain points in my blogging career when I just can't hold it in. When I have to let something out, whether it contains a positive spin or one tainted with depression. We are allowed freedom of speech, are we not?

Overloaded with Facebook blasts and media commentary, photos and speeches of the victorious...it makes me explode with emotion. Emotions of sadness, of hurt, of pain for blindness.

I have to make no bones about what I stand for, because if I don't, my insides will end up withering away from keeping it in, and I will forget how I felt in this moment. And I don't want to forget how I feel today. I want to remember it. So I'm writing it.

After all this is over, and excuse my "French," but are people still calling Romney a "douche?" I'm flipping my Facebook lid. Is this really necessary? I love Facebook for many reasons, but last night and today it's really getting on my nerves.

[End smaller rant than I thought would be. Was that it?]

 

A few years ago, I went through a silent storm. It was a tough road to healing, but it gave me fresh eyes for the long term. These new lenses have allowed me to learn more about love and grace for others.

And this is why I am unsure about how to express my feelings today, and about yesterday's events. I know that I want to say something, but I don't know exactly what or how.

I want to use phrases like "I'm devastated beyond belief" or "I am sad and upset and worried about our future." In fact, I am feeling those things, but I'm not convinced I need to write a whole exerpt about it.

Indeed, I am utterly heartbroken for my party, for my hopes that were shattered, and for what could have been. I reaaaallly wanted a Republican victory.

And I think I might be so hurt that I'm numb. Maybe that's what it is.

I want this blog to be some profound script of my disbelief and sorrow, and my turned hard heart. And before I got to this point in my blog, I think that's that it was going to be.

But the longer this day goes on the more I am strangely replacing the former emotions with grace and love.

Am I devastated? Yes. Am I worried? Yes. Have I lost hope? No.

God is good. He loves you, and me, and our president. And even though my logic answer is not the choice America picked, I have to believe that God will ordain our steps. That we will find peace again. That we will choose to love eachother and choose to love our country.

Isaac once told me I was a fair-weather Redskin's fan because when they were on a major losing streak I couldn't take it anymore.

I don't want to be a fair-weather American patriot.

Nay, I want to stay the course, even if it means at a slow pace and against the grain.

So today I state that, in my opinion, logic did not win. Popularity did, on the basis of four-year historical trends.

But we must believe there are better days ahead. And we must extend love and grace to our fellow brothers and our leaders regardless of the challenges we face.