Where Have I Been?

It has been a long while since I've posted on this blog. Or posted anything.

February 6 to be exact.

I had been posting on my new blog for a while and then when school hit I didn't have the time or the energy to keep it up. I still haven't finished school yet. I'll be done around June 15th (the last two classes are weather makeup and administrative, so I'm not counting those! :)).

This morning I had a yearning to post on Cross-ward. To go back to where my blogging journey started and update you on where I'm at. And while I do like my new blog, For Fitness Love, I miss Cross-ward and it's coziness, domesticated, homey feel, where my true heart comes out.

I also had a yearning this morning to write, because I haven't done it in a while. I've been so consumed with lesson plans and article reading, and going to class that I've terribly missed this blog.

Before school started, I was immersed in all things fitness by way of finding new blogs to read, creating routines, trying new foods, and learning about nutrition. All things health. I was trying to jumpstart a fitness blog, and create a sort-of mini online-business for myself if you will. Not necessarily to generate revenue, but to promote my passion.

When school started, that mini online-business promoting went idle and I jumped into the teaching world. Looking back, I probably should have waited to start it until school was over so that I could focus on one thing at a time, but you know me!

So, here it is mid-April, more than halfway through school (thank God!), and I'm nearly complete with my Practicum. I have one more class on Friday and then I'm DONE!!

But one of the things that got me excited to write today was that I already sense the completion of it, and I'm feeling a little renewed. There's something to be said when you finish a big project, or are coming out on the tail end of an intense week of training and working. That's how I feel today. A BIG SIGH OF RELIEF.

I feel refreshed to be back in a routine, to be working normal hours, to be able to exercise during lunch and play volleyball with friends again. To be able to relax a bit more at home. Spring is on it's way, NY is on the horizon, and I'm feeling sunny and enthused.

I'm looking toward the future now.

But here's a look at the past...

I'm saying this because I don't know any different, but these past two weeks were the most intense points of school for me. Juggling teaching and lesson plans amidst my current job, going to class, caring for Levi, and working with mom's schedule to babysit has been crazy. I truly let the house go some nights, which  is really hard for me to do, and had to leave sticky counters and dirty dishes in the sink.

School had been a pretty easygoing up until two weeks ago. Assignments have been paced well and doing homework has been pretty routine. Since Levi sleeps until about 7 or so, I get up at 5:45 or 6 and study. The world is a different place at 6am!

When I got my assignment at Osbourn and found out it was with Mr. Howell I couldn't even believe it. The "OHS Staff" car tag hanging from my mirror is a reminder of how thankful I am for this opportunity, not only to be interning at Osbourn right around the corner from my house, but to be in school in general. To be doing what I've always wanted to do and having been given an avenue to do it.

(I also have an OHS Staff ID - 1/2 off pizza anyone?)

I started my practicum the week after Spring Break with 9th Grade Health, 10th Grade PE, Basketball, and Weight Training Classes looming over my head. And let me just say, everyone thinks that PE is sooooo easy, but there is an aspect that most don't think about, and that is classroom management on a much larger level. It is really tough taming a lot of kids in large spaces with multiple things happening at once.

Osbourn has changed.

The population is now nearly 50% Hispanic. And the majority of kids in the class have names that I can't even pronounce. Adherence, attitude, and discipline seem to have subsided substantially in this region. It was a c-h-a-l-l-e-n-g-e. And while I was trying to convince myself not to give a 100 for participation to a student who can barely read or write because he didn't do the assignment right (and trying to block out the fact that he was not on level 4 reading, so why was he in my class again?) I was imaging my other colleagues at Shenandoah in these picture-perfect settings out west in schools like Farmwell Station MS and John Champe HS where I envision [more] country living, spacious places, and well-behaved kids.

Perhaps it was all in my head that these kids at Osbourn were more misbehaved than others. But in talking with other teachers I sensed that a lot them have a struggling home life with not much support or parental guidance.

My visions of Winchester and Leesburg perfection clouded my brain as I sat there and tried to make sense of the things I saw. Was Harlem worse? Just kidding. It wasn't that bad, but I surely felt like I was having a dose of "The Projects."

In some ways I feel even more blessed that God placed me in that space to work with those kids. In a perhaps more needy area of Manass-ites. I wonder if I have just been stretched to a new depth and given a more diversely challenged setting so that I will be more equipped to handle what is to come? Only time will tell.

Also, I never knew I had a crackly voice when I yelled, or that my vocal chords were weak. Hello whistle and hand-made megaphone! If I learned one thing these past two weeks it was to blow that whistle hard and "use my gym voice!"

I am looking forward to spring, and to finishing up school and seeing what the next stage brings. I'm also getting excited about Isaac and I's 10 year anniversary where we'll be going to NYC for a weekend to celebrate. AND for a glass of wine, a BIG bowl of popcorn, and SATC on my last night of class. I told you I am not giving in on the popcorn until school is over!

PS - I don't normally talk about my weight other than to family, but I wanted to share that throughout this schooling journey (and several months before), I've been working on losing. It all started, gosh probably late last summer, when I really wanted to focus on it. It has been a majorly slow process for me because I wanted to do it right and not deprive or starve myself. So I've been slowly making changes while keeping it real at the same time. I'm really happy to say that I am about 19lbs (I'm giving myself 1 pound because I went up 1 from yesterday!) less than my pre-pregnancy weight (which is less than what I was in most of my college years!).

I hate talking about "weight" because I always feel like I jinks myself and then I gain it back. I know that's silly and I shouldn't think that way, so I'm taking a risk by telling you in hopes that it will be for the positive, and maybe influence you to start your own journey! I feel so good, physically and mentally, right now, and I certainly don't want to hold back my enthusiasm for others, and I don't want it to end. :)

Thanks for all of your support and hopefully I'll write more again before too long...